Six Signs Daenerys Targaryen is Actually Asian

Join us tomorrow, April 13, at 9:00 PST for the live-tweeting of the second episode of Game of Thrones: hashtag #GOTNOC. I’m up to bat this time, though I usually recap The Legend of Korra, I hope I don’t slip and accidentally call Daenerys Targaryen a Firebender. I align Chaotic Good, and therefore am House Targaryen all the way. I’m also a hardcore Brienne-Jaime ‘shipper, but that’s a discussion for another day.

To whet your appetite, I list six reasons why I imagine Dany, Mother of Dragons, just might be Asian… or at least she should be.

[Note: Before I defend my Asian Dany hypothesis, it behooves me to state that I mean all this in jest. Well, to be more accurate, wishful thinking.]

1. Daenerys has silver-blonde hair, violet eyes, and dark eyebrows. You know who also had blonde hair, violet contact lenses, and dark eyebrows? Any Asian girl in her early college years.

   

2. Daenerys married a foreign man who was much more sexually experienced than she was. When confronted by her own ignorance, what was her first instinct? SHE GOT A TUTOR. That is the way we solve any problem, my friends. I totally would have done the same thing, and my mom would have paid for it.

   

3. Girlfriend is not afraid to eat blood and organ meat. She once ate a raw horse heart with an enthusiasm that would make any Tiger Mom proud.

   

4. She can spend the night inside a bonfire like it’s no big deal (thus earning her the title The Unburnt). At the Korean sauna, there is one especially hot room called the bulgama which is usually set to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, and little grandmas hang out in there like that’s no big deal. (True story: one time, my husband braved the bulgama but forgot to take off his glasses beforehand. When he came out, he noticed odd things with his vision… it turned out his LENSES MELTED.)

   

5. She has a tendency to fall in love with and adopt everything she runs into: dragon eggs, the Dothraki horde, slave cities, etc. But sometimes, she has trouble taking care of them all. I also have a problem with this, although I don’t know if this is a generalized Asian tendency. Let’s discuss.

   

6. Last season, Daenerys totally pulled the Asian trick where people were talking shit about her in Valyrian, thinking she wouldn’t understand, and she went along with it until the time came for her to make her move. Then she busts out with fluent Valyrian, and rubs their ignorance in their faces with savoir flare, heh heh heh. I’ve totally done that with both English and Spanish before. Sometimes you gotta let the stereotypes work for you, you know?