Welcome to the reboot of Harrison Wells! The general consensus is that we (the audience and Team Flash “we”) are predisposed to dislike anyone with Harrison Wells’ handsome face. I mean, each character has their reasons for not trusting the man, and most of them involve some sort of — ahem–  murder-y business.. I mean, a guy shouldn’t be blamed for an alternate timeline which he was body snatched by an evil, time-traveling speedster, right? So, on paper, everyone should technically be like, “Hey, that wasn’t him. It was just his face! …His good looking, striking face. Let’s give him a chance to be a nice guy.”

But humans (specifically nerds) are fickle, stubborn creatures.

“I’m my own man,” Earth-2 Harry Wells tells the team, and Barry looks at him thoughtfully. Funny how Barry is the first to give this man a chance; I seem to have been wrong about this season’s Barry being angsty and untrusting… the season premiere was just a slight character roadblock in his optimism and positivity, but the Flash is back and sunshine-y as ever. Papa Joe even shoots at Harry, and Barry saves him in my favorite sequence of the episode. He’s used this moved before to protect Arrow from Captain Boomerang;  I love it when he spins to protect people from projectiles. Like a Protection Projectile Pirouette.

Hold up: let’s get to Harry Wells’ backstory first. On Earth-2, he is the creator of S.T.A.R. Labs, meta-human detecting wrist technology, a teenage daughter (!!!)…and Zoom (according to Jay Garrick). No seriously. Jay Flash-crashes Wells’ Steve Jobs-esque presentation and outs Wells as the creator of Zoom and all meta-humans. Really? How?

Jay once told Caitlin that he was turned into The Flash in an accident similar to Barry’s… was that before, after, or during the creation of other meta-humans? Did Harry Wells purposefully create Zoom after The Flash was a prominent figure so that Zoom was merely a S.T.A.R. Labs creation inspired by the Scarlett Speedster gone wrong or did the Speedforce choose Jay as a means to stop Zoom? I’m confusing myself.

In the Earth-2 flashback, Jay implies that Wells kept Earth-2’s particle accelerator accident a secret; Jay’s been doing his research and traced the dark matter radiation to Wells’ labs. They do not have a good relationship: lots of shade is publicly thrown as Jay demands Wells to own up to his mistakes and Wells casually suggests that Jay “do your f*cking job you only have one job so run away and just finish off Zoom seriously.” They do not like each other.

“The last time we listened to a guy with your face, some bad things went down.”

— Cisco Ramon, aka Vibe

Alright, back to our Bullet-Stopping Barry… BSB? No. Nevermind.

Something I noticed in favor of Harry Wells is that he raised his arms when Joe came in and pointed his gun at him. Wells seems genuinely shaken up that he was almost shot.

Joe is the one to break the news to Iris that Earth-2 Wells is a thing she should be concerned with, being one of the only people, I assume, who knows that she is still really effed up about Eddie’s death. I’m not saying that Barry or the others don’t know this, but Iris has definitely been putting up a front about how “okay” and “fine” she is. That’s what our Iris does. My bb. Now she’s my bb with a gun because Papa Joe insists that she’s gonna need it.

(Spoiler alert: she does, but not against Harry Wells.)

Barry and Cisco go on a man-date to talk things out over a cup of coffee at Jitters. Patty Spivot falls in line behind them, and Cisco witnesses Barry fumble his way out of asking Patty out on a date. It’s very bad. But it’s also very Barry.

Cisco tries to show him “how it’s done” by asking out the new beautiful barista. She is so gorgeous and majestic… like a glorious bird. Like a hawk. (I like that Barry is always there when Cisco is trying to ask a woman out. His background facials as he observes are the best).

The mysterious barista shuts Cisco down, and Barry pouts for his best friend. The aforementioned best friend starts vibing and envisions an Earth-2 meta-human robbing a bank. Ever the homie, Barry pats Cisco’s back during his vision and consoles him that it’s her loss. I laughed way too hard.

“NO, BARRY, I’M NOT SAD ABOUT THE GIRL A BANK IS BEING ROBBED GO BRO GO!”

Breacher/Meta of the Week: Doctor Light

The masked bankrobber has the ability to derive power from starlight. Harry Wells explains that she’s only a small-time thief, and it wouldn’t be a problem to capture her as bait to lure Zoom to them. Damn, Harry. He’s pretty single-minded about getting his hooks into Zoom? Is this really because he wants to right his wrongs… or does Zoom have something/someone very important to him?

Jay Garrick walks into the lab like a southern lawyer. “I OBJECT!” Jay cries. They really do not like each other.

Turns out, Doctor Light is trying to steal enough cash to go on the run (ironically) from Zoom. Flash!Barry tries to talk to her (because Jay insists that Light can be reasoned with), and Light seems almost down to hear him out.

When she demasks, however, Barry is surprised to see Linda Park’s Earth-2 doppelganger is the breacher. She freaks out when Flash!Barry says her name and flee is a burst of starlight. Now Barry can’t see. He is Daredevil.

Doctor Light finds Prime-Linda at the CCPN office; she wants to kill her and live as her counterpart. Light kills the CCPN Chief — undoubtedly her first kill — and Iris shoots her with the gun that her dad gave her. Light isn’t harmed, but she is unmasked. Linda and Iris are the only witnesses to Light’s face; I guess Linda is on the cusp of officially joining Team Flash.

"Yeah, she is." -Barry about Iris' badassery #WestAllen #DatFlash #TheFlash

— The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) November 4, 2015

Barry the Blind

Okay, this is where the ridiculous seeps in to the story, but I love this kind of ridiculous. Barry is blind and in denial: he wants to stakeout Linda, he wants to have face-to-face conversations despite not knowing he’s talking to a wall, and he wants to go on his first date with Patty. RIDICULOUS SHIT. It’s why I love this show: if you’ve ever asked the question “What if Barry went blind? How would he deal?” you can now watch your official answer. That answer is “not very well and in an almost-sitcom, romantic comedy manner.”

This actually happens, I kid you not: Barry wears sunglasses that are probably Grant Gustin’s to his first date with Patty while Cisco feeds him visual information through an earpiece.

I think I’ve read this fanfic before.

Oh, the Flarrowverse and its earpiece humor. Pure gold.

Sidenote: My boy Cisco really needs a date. I mean, I get that this would be fun for him, but I’d like to see Cisco on the date and Barry/Caitlin wingmanning him through the comms. Plus, he seems WAY TOO EXCITED to be “creepin’ and peepin’” in on this Barry/Patty date.

@grantgust Really enjoyed going on that date with you.

— Carlos Valdes (@Tha_Los) November 4, 2015

Speed Mirage: Things are not as they appear

Our Second Earth-ers, Jay and Harry, full on brawl in S.T.A.R. Labs; Barry lets them each get in a few hits before separating them.

(I can’t be the only one imagining Barry Allen doing the same thing between squabbling Justice League members in the future, right? I’m getting emotional just picturing it.)

So far, we’ve been blind to the biggest secrets of these two men, but as tensions run high, it hit me why each man is so troubled with Zoom. I think Jay is right in questioning Harry’s motives. There is something big at stake Harry’s not telling them about: his daughter is Zoom’s prisoner. Harry seems like a bad guy with a dick-ish attitude and a gravellydick-ish voice, but I think he’s doing all of this for his family. Jay is hiding his own secrets as well; Earth-2’s Flash is tremendously insecure. He’s nearly died from Zoom so many times, I don’t think Jay actually believes that they can beat Zoom.

Cisco’s big meta-human secret is outed to the team by Wells through the use of his Earth-2 meta-sensors. He goes down the line of Team Flash one-by-one. I hold my breath as he passes Caitlin Snow.

She does not set off the sensor. Cisco looks like a guilty puppy when he sets off the sensor. C’mon, Harry, not a good way to get on Cisco’s good side.

Harry not-so-gently coaxes Cisco into locating Doctor Light using his abilities. Intensity is a key feature of Earth-2 personalities. Even Barry semi-breaks character and lets out a Gustin “Yo…”

At the train station where Light is trying to escape, Flash appears. It’s a crowded station, and he is fully decked out in uniform. He basically yells, “SCATTER!” and all of the Central citizens scream and run. I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I do.

Everyone listened to The Flash. I love Central Citizens. #DatFlash #TheFlash

— The Nerds of Color (@TheNerdsofColor) November 4, 2015

Jay is at a loss for how to beat Light, but Harry Wells steps in and tell him to run so fast that he creates after-images of himself to confuse Light. Does this technique sound familiar? It’s how Thawne-Wells duped the team before when they didn’t know he was the reverse Flash. Harry’s knowledge of this speedster technique makes Cisco uncomfortable. That’s one more point for the This-Dude-Is-Not-Good side.

Oh, the Speed Mirage works.

Barry has a newfound trust in Harry Wells after his advice. Barry makes the executive decision to keep the captured Doctor Light in the pipeline and lure Zoom into the lab. With this decree, Jay resigns from the team. No really, he legitimately gives a resignation speech and leaves. It’s very sad. Caitlin is sad.

Snowbarisco celebrates with some Flash Lattes served by the beautiful barista who previously turned Cisco down. She explains that she was caught off guard last time — she needs to be more vigilant… like a bird soaring the skies —  and gives Cisco another chance. She introduces herself as Kendra Saunders.

They sit and smile while sipping their lattes. Cisco real talks about his abilities, so Barry and Caitlin cheer him up with the suggestion of a cool new name.

As territorial as Cisco gets about naming meta-humans, he lets his two best friends choose his alter ego: Vibe.

Apparently, Wells learns that Jitters is the “It Spot” for coffee and halts outside the glass door when he sees the camaraderie of Snowbarisco. Unlike previous “Harrison Wells” tags, there’s nothing ominous about him watching the three Lab friends. Instead, it feels more Adele-ish. “HELLO FROM THE OUTSIIIIDE,” he sings possibly wondering if they’ll ever trust him.

Super-Quick Things:

• ParkWest is very real. Are they seriously drinking in the office? They’re going to be such good sisters-in-law when Wally West officially enters the picture.
• Linda Park calls out a football star who beats his wife and makes no apologies. She is respected by Iris and her (now-dead) Editor-In-Chief. I love Linda.
• Cisco does not think Time Travel would be as cool as Patty thinks.
• “Dr. Wells the Sequel” — Barry Allen

• Cisco’s best line of the episode (it was tough to choose):

• Iris learning about Barry’s date with Patty… sounds familiar?

• Barry’s persona when talking to “bad guys” has increased in punniness. “Let’s take it down a few lumen.”
• Barrick aka Jay/Barry:

• When Barry says “Thank you” to the waiter that already left their table.
• Why does the team keep using their S.T.A.R. Labs van for stakeouts? It’s not at all inconspicuous.
• Patty figuring out that Barry is blind before he tells her is some major foreshadowing that Patty is going to find out Barry’s bigger secret before he decides to tell her.
• “Optimism must be an Earth-1 thing.”
• This little berry.

• Jay Garrick’s best friend is freaking Aquaman. And he’s from Atlantis. Holy crap.

• Note to Christelle: never lose this gif…

• Harry Wells keeps warning the team that people under the influence of Zoom are unreasonable… he seems to be speaking from experience. I want to trust him, but a small part of me can’t. Not yet.

Thanks for reading! May the speedforce be with you.