As many of you know, June is the month of LGBTQ Pride and I couldn’t think of a better time to call out a few tropes that inundate comics and media when it comes LGBTQ characters/themes.

Tropes that if I never see again for the rest of my existence, I’d be eternally grateful. While this by no means covers every trope/issue/fail, it definitely hits the major ones.

Take thorough notes, I’m gonna move fast, and this will not be pretty. Class in session and you’re about to get schooled by Prof. Upkins himself!!!

1) I’m The Gay Guy

One of the biggest sins committed by writers is that when they write LGBTQ characters, they don’t bother to make them a three dimensional character like their heterosexual/cis-gendered peers, they box them in and define that character solely by their LGBTQ status.

An example: I’m watching a television series on DVD now and while it’s doing a lot of excellent things, they failed when it came to the characterization of the gay character. Practically every scene he’s been in has played out like this:

Hi I’m the gay guy. I’m gay, did I mention I’m gay. Gay is me. Wanna know who’s gay? I’m gay. I’m the gay guy. You look like you didn’t know that I’m gay. What’s gayer than gay? Me. Gay guy here. Did you know I’m gay? Let me mention that I’m gay. No I really should mention I’m gay. Did someone say gay? I’m gay. It’s been 30 seconds since the last announcement but in case it may have slipped your mind, I’m gay. Yeah I know, I’m the gay guy. Did I mention I’m gay? This is usually followed by rainbows, techno music, references to Broadway, and/or gay iconic actresses, you know to show how “authentically” gay the character is. Sorta similar to how writers will have black characters use the latest urban slang and emulate what they’ve seen on MTV/BET to show how “authentically” black they are.

A queer WOC made an excellent point on her blog:

“When it comes to race, a lot of people (including people of color) assume – if not outright state – that White is a lack of race, an empty ethnicity, the default, normal, invisible. As a result, when it comes to matters of race, Whiteness becomes impartial, objective, unbiased, rational, common sense. I’m sure you can imagine how this plays out in racial discourse. Whiteness is positioned as true and therefore right. Of course, no one thinks that consciously (duh!), but it often comes out in how, in a weird sort of way, White people seem to act like they’re only White when the topic of discussion is racism and not every waking moment of their lives. And this confuses the shit out of me because that’s like a straight person acting like they’re only heterosexual when the issue of gay marriage crops up. Or a man acting like the only time he notices gender is when people bring up sexism. To which the only prudent response is to disengage before the intensity of delusion makes your head explode.”

Just as being white/male/cis-gendered is part of the next person’s identity and yes having those traits and the privileges that accompany said traits will shape their experiences, the same holds true for minorities. Being an LGBTQ is only part of who we are. It’s not the end all be all. We come in all ages, genders, races, socio-economic classes, etc. Some of us are effeminate, some of us are masculine, just like cis-gendered heterosexuals. We’re found in all professions, we’re doing our thing. The point is, our sexual orientation is not our end-all be-all defining characteristic.

2) “You Must Be The Man In The Relationship”

This is something I’ve heard too many times in my own life and this is something I’ve witnessed in portrayals of same-gender relationships.

Same-gender relationships are not the same as heterosexual relationships and you know what, THAT’S AWESOME! But apparently some writers didn’t get the memo. When they write gay and lesbian couples, they will often attempt to pigeonhole characters to fit the trope of the dominant alpha and the submissive beta. It’s one thing if one character is a dominant alpha and the other is a passive beta (because that’s just who they are) and they happen to play to that dynamic.

But when we’re talking about two powerful dominant characters who save the planet on the regular, that’s not gonna play. Hell, that doesn’t even work for many heterosexual pairings in comics. Dinah Lance is one of the most powerful women in comics, I do not expect her to being submissive or passive to Ollie or any other man she’s in a relationship with just because she’s a woman and they’re men. I expect her to still be the dominant ass-kicking alpha woman that she is.

Wiccan and Hulkling are a perfect example that shows two well-developed gay characters who are on equal footing and it works. Because they’re like partners and equal and stuff. Partners being equal. Wow, what a concept.

3) The Mythical Straight Boy Unicorn

Boy do I have plenty to say on this one.

Stop me if you recognize this plot device or some variation thereof. Miserable gay boy who has given up on love falls in love with the mythical straight boy. Gay boy in desperate need of being rescued falls in love with the mythical straight boy. Gay boy is persecuted by life and homophobes, who shall ever save him? The mythical straight boy. The gay boy is miserable and has no confidence in himself. Who teaches him to be cool, self confident and self reliant? The mythical straight boy. The gay boy is looking to recruit and win over that white knight. So who does he convert? The mythical straight boy. The gay boy needs saving? Who shall save him? I know. How about the mythical straight boy?

will…..

you….

please…..

stop?……….

no……….

really……..

PLEASE……..

STOP!!!

No seriously, I am willing to offer monetary and/or sexual incentives to stop this madness.

This stems back to this bullshit notion that cis-gendered heterosexual men have the sole copyright trademark on masculinity, power and strength. All straight guys are tough and strong and all gay guys are sissies.

Society pushes this misnomer that even if no other woman finds a cis-gendered straight guy desirable, they can always count on us dirty perverted homos to get in their pants simply because they’re the mythical unicorn of a cis-gendered heterosexual man because they’re “real men.”. And of course all gay guys will jump at the chance to be with any real man.

Unfortunately they’ve got it twisted.

Personally speaking, I’ve found most straight women are far more tolerant, understanding, fair and far more open-minded than gay men.

Read: if a straight woman doesn’t want them, then we sure as hell don’t.

Furthermore, gay or straight, true alphas don’t wait for anyone to save them. They save themselves. Case in point, my patronus here:

4) We Can Save Ourselves

This often intersects with #3 but it definitely warrants its own discussion. Typically when an LGBTQ character is attacked or persecuted they require some cisgendered heterosexual savior to swoop in and save them. This is very similar to the Great White Hope trope where a mythical savior of the caucasian persuasion will will come riding in on a white stallion to save us lowly PoCs from his own kind. Because he’s not like them because he’s a Speshul White Person. Not be an ally and stand tall with us as peers (because that’s awesome) but rescue us in one single-handed gesture.

Like B.Scott said, I’m not waiting for someone to come save me, I’ll do the damn thing my damn self.

We’re more than capable of functioning and overcoming adversity. Hell we do it every day in our day-to-day lives. With all of the hatred and violence that we face, do you think most of us would be here if we didn’t know how to kick ass and take names? And speaking of LGBTQs who can kick ass and take names and save themselves: AIDS BURGER FOR THE MOTHER FRAKKIN WIN!!!!

5) White IS NOT The Default For LGBTQ

Unfortunately too often the media often portrays the racial default for LGBTQ as good looking cis-gendered whites, usually males. This of course leads to a lot of problem because it pushes the failed mindset that the only marginalized people who exist, much less matter are those that fall into that category. I appreciate a cute white boy as much as the next person but my God is it asking too much to dispel the notion?

Too often people forget that there are LGBTQs of color. So it’s just not enough to have LGBTQ characters in the media they have to be as diverse as we are. We desperately need more Satsus, Renee Montoyas, Lafayette Reynolds, and Xavins who brings the trifecta of win for not only defying the gender binary, debunking the notion that white is the default for LGBTQ but also debunking the failed mindset that white is the default race for humanity in general.

6) My Trans And Non Gender Binary Peeps Deserve Better

My trans brothers and sisters are rarely showcased in the media and when they are it’s usually boxed into unflattering roles as dirty secrets for one of the primary protagonists of a story. And don’t even get me started on this bullshit here. I write this as cis-gendered male, I can’t even begin to imagine the frustration, anger, and hurt trans folks endure when they witness this.

The transfolks, and for that matter the non gender binary peeps, who have been in my life over the years have been entrepreneurs, waiters, teachers, award winning community activists, military veterans, volunteers, actors, MMA fighters, directors, computer programmers, media personalities. Accomplishments these men and women have garnered while enduring bigotry and even violence. Funny how THAT never gets showcased in these stories. A little education (and removal of one’s head from their rectal cavity) would reveal this.

And speaking of education, I highly recommend these two blogs:

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/
http://questioningtransphobia.wordpress.com/

7) We’re Not Looking To Assimilate

A trope I see too often in stories is that gay and lesbian characters’ sole raison d’etre is to emulate their heterosexual neighbors: get married, move to the suburbs, get a picket fence, have children, and conform to the “heterosexual ideal” (because we know heterosexuals totally have the trademark on this) and when the issue of homophobia arises in stories, the argument is made that gays and lesbians’ rights and humanity should be recognized because it’s contingent on the fact that they’re willing to conform and be just like the straights.

I don’t want to live in the suburbs, I don’t want children or a picket fence. Not knocking those who do. If it works for them, awesome and blessed be. It’s not for me. And you wanna know what else, my gay lifestyle is awesome. By not having a spouse and a family, I have more disposable income and more time to myself. I can travel abroad at the drop of a mood swing, I can go back to school, I can buy the latest tech. I can have as much indiscriminate sex as I like and I’ll never have to worry about unwanted pregnancies. And you know what, I’m STILL entitled to the same rights, privileges and respect, and human dignity.

As Brian Gerald stated, “Your equality and humanity are not contingent upon conforming to some standard. Give me equality and justice because all humans deserve it, and not because I clean-up well. And don’t forget that queers who aren’t monogamous / don’t go to church / reject marriage / oppose the military / avoid taxes deserve justice also. In fact, we can learn something from these non-conformists!”

How about stories featuring gay characters who are completely happy with their lifestyles and aren’t longing to be assimilated by the heterosexual Borg? Oh wait, we can’t have that. We might start unpacking some privilege and having LGBTQs feel good about themselves. And we just can’t have that.

8) We’re Not Your Girlfriends

If you’ve watched a romantic comedy in the last 30 years, you’ve seen this trope. The gay BFF who ONLY exists to be a shoulder, listening ear for the female protagonist, offer said female protagonist hair/makeup/ fashion tips, or to pull a Queer Eye for the masculine straight guy who needs advice on getting in touch with his heterosexual side. Said gay BFFs are usually cardboard cutouts with no character development. They may have a platonic love interest which we see for like 20 seconds but their love life is usually limited to innuendos. But ultimately their whole existence is to serve the heterosexuals in their life.

I won’t mention how many times when women discover that I drive stick they get giddy like I’m some kind of fucking fashion accessory they just bought. They think they’ve made a new BFF who solely exists for the aforementioned fail. Or when guys need advice on cleaning themselves up and want fashion tips, they automatically turn to me.

“Hey Denny, you’re gay, and all you gays know about fashion looking good. Can you give me advice? I’ll even let you mentally undress me for five whole minutes because that’s what all you gay boys like to do with us real straight men isn’t it?”

And folks wonder why I keep a lawyer and a bail bondsman on speed dial.

9) Orientation =/= Evil

While appearing at a con a few years ago, I spoke with a woman who was immensely frustrated over a sci-fi series she had been watching. The show featured a confident powerful alpha woman who was extraordinary, accomplished and happened to be a lesbian. Surprise, surprise, she was actually evil.

This led to a discussion the age old trope where writers will make a villain bisexual or a lesbian to add a little bit of kink to their villainy. After all, nothing says true deviant who should be slain by our valiant cis-gendered heterosexual (often white male) protagonist like being an LGBTQ.

How many times have we seen this in comics and other media? The evil lesbian is out to kill ALL men because she hates ALL men. Or the gay guy who is a pedophile because destroying children is our only mission in life. Or that bisexual villain who is bisexual because they needed some extra kink. Or because they can’t make up their mind about what they want or they’re greedy sexually.

In fact, how many times do you actually see bisexual characters in the media in roles other than villains?

Now I already know what some folks are gonna say. “But Denny, some LGBTQs are bad people. Are you trying to imply that they should only be portrayed as good protagonists?”

Not at all.

The problem is that they aren’t portrayed as villains who HAPPEN to be LGBTQs but villains who are evil and diabolical in large part (if not all) BECAUSE they are an LGBTQ. That’s the difference.

10) We Have Sex! DEAL!!!!!

I’ve lost count the number of times I’ve endured the following:

“It’s okay if you’re gay and I totally accept it. I just don’t want to hear about your crushes/ kisses/relationships/or details about you having gay sex. Because that icky gay sex is just icky and that aspect of who you are makes me uncomfortable and in all my cis-gendered heterosexual privilege, my comfort trumps your experiences as a human being. But I’m not homophobic at all and I like totally accept you being gay.”

Needless to say, this failed mindset translates into media also.

Yes LGBTQs have sex. I have sex. It’s one of my favorite recreations. I think sex is a beautiful thing and one of the greatest gifts God ever gave us. I enjoy having sex beautiful men.

On the bed
On the floor
On the towel
By the door
In the tub
In the car
Up against
The mini bar.

And I’m still loved by God and entitled to basic human rights. I always find it odd that in soap operas, comics and other media regularly features, murder, rape, domestic violence, adultery, fornication, no one blinks an eye. Yet same gender loving arises, then everyone wants to play the Bible/morality card.

But that’s the trouble with tolerance. So what is tolerance anyway? As I see it, tolerance means I don’t burn your church down, or tie you to a fence and leave you to die, or drag you down a dirt road behind my pickup. It means I tolerate your existence and little else. I let you live and breathe for another day. How nice of me.

How nice indeed.

11) Retconning Lesser Characters As Gay Is Not Progressive

Something I’ve seen too often in comics is that a lesser character (often a villain) will be retconned as gay. However they are kept at a minor role and if readers get turned off, they can always kill them off or retcon them back as straight. Or if they do get a featured role and are propped up as a publicity stunt like say the Rawhide Kid, they play to every denigrating stereotype.

Visibility is not progress.  But we already knew that.

12) Being Gay IS NOT A Tragedy

Just as there’s far more to the POC experience than racism, there’s far more to the LGBTQ experience than homophobia, coming out, HIV/AIDS. Yes those are important issues worth exploring and I’m not saying we should stop. In Hollowstone, I tackled homophobia in high schools, of course I also showcased queer teens fighting back as well. In West of Sunset, the novel revolved around a gay wizard detective who battled evil, and came into his own.

Yes LGBTQs have our challenges and yes we must contend with institutional oppression but there are perks about being an LGBTQ, many of which I’ve listed in Point 7. On top of that we have rich culture and history stemming back to Greek/Roman times and eras before that. So a few more well adjusted characters who are totally comfortable with who they are will go a long way. K. Thanks.

13) The Greeks/Romans/Spartans Were Like Totally Gay

I’m a huge whore……………………for Greek and Roman mythology and too often I’ve witnessed when someone touches on this genre or period of history, they try their damnedest to revise history and straighten out icky gays. Because it fucks with their sensibilities that some of history’s mightiest warriors were actually gay.

If they had it their way, they’d have you think that Zeus and Ganymede were just  platonic drinking buddies. This is why we shouldn’t rely on Frank Miller’s homophobic shitfest 300 as historical fact.

The Spartans were like totally gay! The Greeks were like totally gay! The Romans were like totally gay!

DEAL!!!!!

Any previous claims to the contrary, EFF WHAT YOU HEARD!!!!!!

14) Quit Retooling LGBTQ Characters

One of the most infuriating things is when a character comes out of the closet, they completely retool their personality to fit the offensive gay caricature.

Let me give you an example. There’s a show I’m watching now where a frat boy jock recently came out of the closet. While that in itself would be awesome, unfortunately they’ve completely revamped his character with no explanation why. Suddenly he’s now whiny and plays to every negative denigrating stereotype.

And then he and his boyfriend get into a fight with a pair of homophobes and suddenly he doesn’t know how to throw a punch or defend himself. And he has to get saved by a mythical heterosexual. Something else happened, but I didn’t see what because by that point my baseball bat had collided with my flat screen.

Now, it would be one thing if say the character had always been sensitive or a gentle soul or what have you. That would’ve made sense, obviously.

But alas a world of no. This is nothing more than trifling homophobic writers pigeonholing a character in their myopic box about what they think all gay people are like.

When I realized I was gay, the entire content of my character didn’t suddenly shift. Being gay didn’t affect my personality, my interests, my hobbies, etc. I’m still a writer and an artist, I’m a voracious comic book junkie, I’m still an obsessive compulsive overachieving perfectionist. I’m still a quirky geek. I’m those things because that’s who I am, not because my sexuality dictates it.

15) Enough With The Gay Deaths

Sometimes I wonder if writers only include LGBTQ characters if for no other reason than to kill them off. One of the biggest heartbreaks in comics for me (and to this day I’m still raw about it) was the fate that befell Freedom Ring.One of the best characters in years, he easily could’ve carried his own series. Not only did they kill him off, but tortured and sodomized him in the process, none of which they would’ve dared done to a heterosexual superhero.The one time they SHOULD bring a superhero back from the dead, suddenly they decide to keep him dead.

Ironically, I’ve actually defended the storytellers behind two of the highest profile gay demises in fandom: Tara Maclay from Buffy and Ianto Jones from Torchwood.

Don’t get it twisted. I completely get why people were livid about Tara and Ianto being killed. We have so few LGBTQ characters and even fewer who are handled correctly. So we are dealt a major blow when one of them is killed off. And we deserve a little romance from our heroes as well.

I loved Tara, I loved Tara and Willow together. They will always be one of my all-time pairings. However season six which was the worst season ever imho was about Willow’s descent into darkness. If the objective of season six was to make Willow dark, the only way that was going to happen was to take away the one thing that mattered to her most, and that Tara. It was sad and heartbreaking to lose such an awesome character like Tara, but from a storytelling standpoint, I understand the decision.

As far as Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones went, that relationship wasn’t going to last and to be completely honest, I’m shocked it lasted as long as it did. Jack has far too many layers and and Ianto hadn’t even began to scratch the surface. This was a relationship rooted in lust (my favorite kind).

Oh sure, they cared for each other but Jack isn’t the settling down type and Ianto knew that and he was cool with it. That’s why Jack never acted on his feelings for Gwen because he knew she would want the commitment, the flowers, the ring, the kids, the house, all of it and Jack wouldn’t/couldn’t be that man. He’s not that man. What’s also interesting about this is that while Jack is omnisexual, Ianto isn’t even gay. As he explained to his sister, he didn’t have an attraction to men, it was just one man.

This made for very compelling television because it kept their relationship interesting (and yes the man on man action was hot). But you knew they were on borrowed time as most Torchwood agents didn’t live past 26. This relationship would have an even shorter lifespan.

But the difference between Harkness/Jones, Willow/Tara and deaths like say Freedom Ring and countless other gay deaths is that the former deaths were storydriven and handled with care and respectability imho.

They weren’t brutalized or murdered in some exploitative or over the top manner that occurs too often with LGBTQ deaths.

Which leads us to our next trope……

16) Enough With The Specialized Brutality Reserved for LGBTQs

I could cite the seemingly countless examples but rather than doing that, I’m just going to link Perry Moore’s essay Who Cares About The Death Of A Gay Superhero Anyway? A History of Gays In Comic Books. Much in the spirit of Gail Simone’s essay which brings awareness to the industry’s misogyny, Moore’s article chronicles LGBT superheroes who have been met with torture, rape, disembowelment, decapitation, had their genitalia disfigured or removed, and/or was retconned as heterosexual. While the essay is dated, Mr. Moore’s ultimate point still stands and is still a most valid one.

17) LGBTQs Are Not Your Punchline?

Do I even need to explain this one?

18) The Invisible Queers

One trend I’ve noted in a lot of television series is this tendency to reference gay characters who the audience never meets. On one show, one of the main characters repeatedly discusses his gay neighbors, who never appear on screen. On another television show, one character has two moms and both characters are repeatedly referenced, but they only exist through the referencing by the cis straight characters. You could almost make a drinking game out of the number of times they’re referenced and yet…they never appear on screen.

This tactic is an attempt for a series to illustrate how forward and progressive a series is….you know….without being….well….forward and progressive.

I see what you did there.

19) @Cis Straight Men, You Can Stop With The Copouts

One thing I’ve noticed with too many cis straight male writers (particularly in comics) is that when it comes to including queer characters, they’re usually all for it……when it’s women.

It never ceases to astonish me that in many cases (though not every, obviously otherwise there wouldn’t be this list), queer female characters are actually written with a modicum of respect [tough strong ass-kicking female who happens to like other women] whereas queer males are reduced to being the caricatures and the comic relief.

Now don’t get it twisted. This isn’t to say that queer women have it so easy or any crap like that, because they don’t. In addition to heterosexism and queerphobia, they also have to contend with misogyny. But because of the intersecting institutional oppressions of misogyny and patriarchy make “girl on girl action” a bit more acceptable, too often we get this failed mindset.

And of course the male writers’ only excuse is that they can’t help it, they’re just more comfortable with female characters.

I’m going to need cis straight male writers to start including queer men in their work and to actually write us with the same respect as they do their [author inserts] cis straight male characters. Because orientation notwithstanding, we’re not different.

And I’m not even trying to hear that bullshit about how straight men are simply more comfortable writing queer women. Because if m/m action is that unsettling for you, then why are you REALLY uncomfortable?

20) @Women, Gay Men Are Not Your Avatars

For some reason, many women tend to believe that gay men are their ideal menz because they believe we’re all sensitive, we long for romance, we love shopping and we just aspire to be their girlfriends and honorary womynz.

[giving the black folks side-eye something fierce]

And while I can forgive folks simply being unenlightened on these matters, the second I try to educate folks because I want them to do better in portraying me and mine, you find yourself on the receiving end of some of those vitriolic attacks for ruining their fangirl squee. I won’t mention how many times I’ve been personally attacked for daring to say that gay men deserve better representation and here’s how.

I’ve mentioned this before, with the exception of an elite few, I don’t read queer male fiction written by women for the same reason with the exception of an elite few, I don’t read works “tackling racism” that are written by white people, for the same reason I surmise that queer women are hesitant to read works depicting their sexuality from straight men. The universal thread here: mofos are writing from a place of privilege who couldn’t be bothered to do any actual research. And usually there’s a not-so-veiled agenda attached.

And male pseudonyms or not, I can usually tell within a few pages whether a piece was penned by a man or a woman. Because it’s easy to distinguish an outsider’s perception of queer males as opposed to someone who has our insight. And really, is the male voice that hard to figure out? We’re not that complex?

The Problem With Slash at bare minimum is creepy fetish BS like this here.

At worst, we start noticing a trend like this here.

I will not begrudge anyone for appreciating man on man action. Hell, in fact, hit me up and I can make recommendations for some top-notch media that excellently features it. But when you’re fetishizing and appropriating gay men/gay culture and inaccurately depicting us for your own agenda (stories about gay men written by women for women and simply using gay men as their author inserts), then you need to seriously need to stop because that shit is not cool.

21) Gay Male Characters Do Not Necessitate Gay Romance

Look I’m not bashing gay romance. While it’s not always my personal cup of tea (though I’ve enjoyed an occasional story or two), as a genre I respect it and I’ll be the first to say there is a serious need for it. However, I must insist that not every story in every genre featuring a gay protagonist has to be a gay romance.

If I’m searching for an action novel with a gay protagonist because I want to see my gay brothers kick ass and take names (a la Jack Harkness or Midnighter), it shouldn’t be a romance story with a little action sprinkled in. If I’m searching for a horror story that features a gay protagonist, it shouldn’t be a sappy melodrama with horror elements sprinkled in. Believe it or not, there is more to being a gay man than falling in love and relationships.  Just like there’s more to being a heterosexual man than falling in love or having romance. Believe it or not, many gay men have the same outlook on romance as straight men do. And shocker, some of us don’t want to get married. EVER!

I’m not even saying the gay protagonist shouldn’t have a love interest in stories or shouldn’t get laid. I want them to get laid. Gay men getting laid is awesome. But gay romance shouldn’t dominate every story in every genre because it features gay protagonists.

22) Being Queer Is Family Friendly

I’ve spoken in depth before about how Gear was a gay teen superhero in the series Static Shock but wasn’t allowed to be a visible gay because of FCC regulations. That’s right FCC WILL NOT allow gay characters to be included in cartoons or children’s programming.

Too often people have this mindset that queers are deviants whose sole existence is to corrupt innocent children with our icky sodomizing sex.

Said mindset also translates into real life and legal legislation. In Tennessee, the word gay was outlawed in public schools.

Unfortunately writers have this mindset as well that queer issues aren’t kid friendly and should be left for an adult audience.

Why this is fucked up, let me count the ways.

There’s a difference between sex and orientation. Many characters can identify as heterosexual in a story and never engage in intercourse. The same goes for queer characters.More than that, this mindset is dangerous because it erases our humanity. It also erases queer youth who do exist, who know who they are and have to be invisible less they’re met with denigration and even violence.

Queer youth need stories about them and for them. More than that, cis straight youth (and for that matter parents and other adults) need to see stories about queer youth and for them to be reminded that they’re still entitled to human dignity and respect.

If you’re looking for examples of out young gay characters who are handled with respect then look no further than Thom Creed in Perry Moore’s Hero or Kevin Keller in Archie Comics. He’s an excellent gay character who is actually handled with RESPECT and is family friendly! If Archie, of all places, can do it right, then what’s your excuse?

23) Escapism, We Need It Too

Just like our cis-gendered heterosexual brothers and sisters, LGBTQs turn to art to uplift us when our lives need lifting. We too need to be whisked away to magical worlds where being a minority is not a scarlet letter but something worth celebrating.

When I watch Doctor Who and Torchwood, I want to be in that world and want to know what it’s like to be a gay male who defies labels and plays by his own rules and still manages to be a kickass character. I want to know what the world could be like without racism, sexism, homophobia, that’s actually inclusive of everyone. I sometimes need to escape to a world where I can live vicariously through a loving gay couple who are able to be out and affectionate without fear of violence, like say Wiccan and Hulkling.

Just as showcasing the oppressions bring to light the injustices in the world, I think the escapism can often serve as a blue print of what the world could be like for all of us if we made a good faith effort.

24) We Can Take The Lead

If Torchwood, Batwoman, and the Question are any indication, we are more than capable of leading the team and being the primary protagonists

While it is wonderful that LGBTQs are featured in stories as supporting characters, we not only need more stories featuring us done right but stories featuring us as the heroes and heroines of our tales, we’re more than capable of being the sidekick or the teammates.

To quote Rob Van Dam, we can be THE WHOLE EFFIN SHOW!!!!!!!!

25) We Are Whatever We Want To Be

In another post I mentioned a friend is working a novel which features two characters. Close as brothers, this story is not only well-written but it kicks ass because the assertive stoic dominant alpha character just happens to be a gay male and the sweet sensitive clumsy one just happened to be the straight guy. Well the feedback she’s been receiving from (heterosexual) female readers is that they don’t approve of the story because they don’t feel the gay character is authentic ie he doesn’t adhere to stereotypes and ergo isn’t realistic.

I had a similar situation awhile back while collaborating on a comic book. It was a team story and one of them featured a devout spiritual knight who happened to be gay. I got pushback from some folks because it was mansplained and straight-talked to me that it’s unrealistic that gays could be religious or spiritual because it goes against the Bible.

Once again, this is why I keep an attorney and a bail bondsman on speed dial.

This type of fail is what led to John Barrowman being passed over for the role of Will in Will & Grace. He was too masculine and not authentically gay. The producers rather wanted a straight man playing a stereotypical and denigrating gay man, rather than a gay man defying convention.

LGBTQs are not the Borg. We come from all walks of life and have myriad of experiences and perspectives. We are more than our demographics. And it’s not unreasonable for us to expect the same from LGBTQ characters.

You see people love to put minorities in a box in order to satiate their superiority complexes. They base their self-worth off of what others can’t/aren’t supposed to be doing.

Speaking for myself here, I’m gonna do me, and I’m gonna be the best me that I can possibly be. And if you got a problem with that, then that’s your problem.

Because it sure as hell ain’t mine.

With all of this being said, storytellers: your game, do step it up.

Here endeth the lesson. For now.