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NOC Recaps The Flash: The Rogues Awaken

The Flash -- "Running to Stand Still" -- Image: FLA209A_0017b.jpg -- Pictured: Mark Hamill as James Jesse/Trickster -- Photo: Cate Cameron/The CW -- © 2015 The CW Network, LLC. All rights reserved.

The CW pulled out the big guns for The Flash’s second mid-season finale: Mark Hamill’s return as the Trickster, Captain Cold, and… Wally West? Yes. Wally Freaking Kid Flash West is in this episode, and he’s beautiful. I mean, it’s beautiful. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Anyways, happy holidays and speed onward to read onward!

Flashforward… Maybe? Wells is being chased by Zoom. And it’s sexy. I mean awesome. Why isn’t Zoom just murdering the sexy out of him already? Ohhh… They’re “talking.” Harry just keeps begging for his daughter Jesse’s life, not his. Oh Wells… you’ve revealed your cards. Zoom is totally going to use that to string you like a puppet. Zoom just “smiles,” if you can call it that because the zoom costume and mask is like a creepy grinning abyss of evil.

Wells chokes out at Zoom to just say something! Zoom replies: “Merry Christmas.” Oh really, it’s gonna be like that, huh?

Papa Joe and Iris shop for Christmas gifts together, and then they get Flash coffee drinks afterwards. It’s so cute. Papa Joe ponders what he’s going to get Barry because he’s the best papa in the world and wants to get him something really, really good considering all of the bullshit. He also mentions to Iris that he misses Eddie, too, because he’s the best papa in the world. It’s a quick moment of support and reassurance, but it’s lovely.

Barry and Patty snuggle before being interrupted by a “happy-for-Barry” Iris. I really do believe she’s happy for him; I really do feel like they’re building the platonic relationship between WestAllen… they’re giving a reason for us to root for them rather than forcing us to accept their destiny as a couple. It reminds me of Clark and Lois in Smallville… but that’s another story for another time. But it’s a visually and emotionally gorgeous WestAllen scene.

For them, Christmas is Truthmas considering that Barry admitted his less-than-brotherly feelings to her one year ago. So Iris confides in Barry that she’s been harboring a family secret, and it’s a good one: Francine was pregnant when she left. She kept the baby. She named the baby “Wally.”

I screamed. I scared my entire family. “Wally West.”

SnowJay is still trying to figure out how to close breaches like some weird science-y foreplay. Cisco simultaneously ships and abhors SnowJay. Is Meta-Cisco how the audience feels? We knew they were gonna get together; just do it! I wonder how Cisco would feel about SnoWells.

Jay Garrick does this thing that he probably thinks is hilarious where he says, “What’s Christmas?” He does this several times a day, I think. Like a bad Dad Joke.

The snowstorm (a literal snowstorm and not Caitlin/Ronnie’s ‘ship name) is getting stronger outside, and we learn that it’s because of the Weather Wizard! Oh, that makes sense. He breaks into Iron Heights to break out Captain Cold and Jesse James, aka The Trickster.

“It’s official, Santa hates us,” Joe exhales when he finds out about the trio of missing meta-villains. Joe warns Barry about Patty flipping her lid over Wizard because he’s kind of the whole reason that her dad died and she became a cop.

She freezes Barry out like an angsty teenager: “YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND OKAY? OKAAAY?”

The three rogues chat in an abandoned toy factory, because, you know, villain-ing. Wizard thinks that they are the perfect team to defeat The Flash… like the Death-to-Flash Powerpuff Girls. Cold, thankfully, thinks he’s an idiot.

West Family Meeting: Iris tells Papa Joe about Wally West’s existence. It takes a lot for Iris… she believed that she was purposefully lying and hurting her father. I want to give her a hug. And then Joe loses it when he learns his son’s name is “Wallace.” He cries. I cry. He leaves to go to work, but you can tell he’s not angry at Iris. If anything, he’s angry with himself; Joe West is basically a perfect human being and the thought of him being a less-than-perfect father to a son (whether or not he knew the son existed) is soul-crushing to him. I love Joe West.

Barry and Iris head to the West house and are Bad Guy Greeted by Leonard Snart/Captain Cold sitting by the fireplace sipping hot cocoa. Cold complains about the West house’s lack of mini marshmallows… perhaps Linda Park used them all while stress-baking.

Barry gets a little too up in Cold’s face because I think he secretly is a Snarry shipper like “YOU COME TO MY HOUSE?!” He tips Barry off about the new Wizard/Trickster collabo. Barry is like “AWWWWW, YOU’RE A MARSHMALLOW” and Cold is like, “SHUT UP NO I’M NOT YOU ARE.” Cold leaves, but not before telling his boyfriend, “Merry Christmas.”

Joe is struggling with the idea that he’s a terrible father. He feels guilty that his Daddy-Sixth-Sense didn’t go off? It’s terribly illogical and sweet. Breathe in, breathe out. Must not cry while typing this recap.

Trickster hijacks Central City’s airwaves. I appreciate that superhero cities are always tuned into local TV channels rather than, you know, CNN. Cisco super-zooms in on a reflection of a giant Jiggle Wiggle teddy bear on Mark Hamill’s eyeball. It’s a way-too-easy, nearly lazy trope to find out the bad guy’s location, but I let it slide only because Harrison Wells says, “Jiggle Wiggle” in his throaty Earth-2 voice.

For some reason, Patty beats the Flash to the toy factory where SINGING SPINNING DREIDEL EXPLOSIVES spin towards them. I was informed that it was a nod to Hamill’s voice character, Hanukkah Zombie. Last year, Vader reference and this year Futurama. Hamill is so down.

Barry tells P. Spivvy to hug her, to which she replies, “I’m seeing someone.” Amazing! I love that she is awkward in the face of death. Anyways, Barry funnel arms the two of them through the roof. Like a Hover-Flash. He flew. To quote Oliver Queen, “That’s new.

Zoom somersaults through the breach to check-in with Wells. This is the part where I realize that THIS PLOTLINE IS CURRENT. The intro wasn’t a flashforward?! I’m distraught. That is why Team Flash keeps asking Harry what’s up you good and he’s non-answering with, “Why wouldn’t I be?” UM, BECAUSE ZOOM IS BLACKMAILING YOU TO BETRAY US ALL. JUST TELL THEM, WELLS-2!

Oh, and because Trickster is seriously insane and demented, he pretends to be Santa and hands out beautifully wrapped bombs to the children who sit in his lap. I shudder to think what he did to the actual Santa that was hired by Central City for the tree-lighting ceremony.

Barry corners Weather Wizard on a roof, flourishing Cisco’s Weather Wand (intended to destroy Mardon, not give him more power). He tries to explain what it does, but Wizard gets bored mid-speech and flies off the roof. Something about changing the atmospheric pressure and… oh nope. He’s just flying we’re all just gonna accept that he’s flying.

Once he stops jumping off of helicopter propellers, Flash is blackmailed to hand over the wand to the Wizard so that Trickster won’t detonate all of the wrapped bomb-gifts.

Alright, firstly,  that wand shouldn’t even work! You can’t just pass off a wand, you need to win it in a battle and earn it… don’t they know wand-lore? That’s why Draco was the master of the Elder Wand when he disarmed Dumble– okay sorry, the Potter freak in me just unleashed.

Luckily, the combined brainpower of Wells, Garrick, and Cisco fabricate another TV-science plan with magnets and a drone to send all 100 gift-bombs through the breach to Earth-2. Like Grodd. Damn, eff Earth-2, apparently.

“How do you like them magnets?” -Cisco Zero-Chill Ramon

Barry takes out the two rogues, but then Patty Spivot shows up and takes out Flash. She’s making me unlike her. She is about to shoot Wizard point black to avenge her dad… Trickster episodes are always full of Father Issues. Barry talks to her and convinces her to put the gun down, kind of the way Supergirl did in National City last night. It’s what makes superheroes heroes.

After everyone is re-arrested, Joe finds Barry to tell him that he’s resolved most of his issues because he is a perfect man and really, really good at being a rational human. He’s released his pain and made room in his heart. Room for another West! Joe’s also found a Christmas present for Barry: his heirloom watch.

Because Joe is the perfect papa and inadvertently gave Barry excellent father-son advice, Barry speaks to Harrison Wells-2 through glass where he’s working. He decides to forgive him… or the other him.

“I know that you’re not him, but he’s not here and I have to say this. For me.”

Barry has recognized in himself that he won’t be happy until he finds it in his heart to forgive Harrison Wells, the murder of his mother and friends. So he forgive him. Through the glass. Harry notices Barry staring at him and crying beautifully; he politely and cooly asks Barry if he needed to tell him something, and Barry fumbles and ends up asking Harry out instead. Not really, but Barry invites Harry to the Christmas party at his house!

Annual West Family Christmas Party! SnowJay kisses underneath the mistletoe as everyone peeks over their mugs of spiked hot cocoa to watch it happen. Patty and Barry make up with dorky, ugly sweaters. The doorbell rings and Barry hopes it’s Harry. It’s not… it’s Wally. Wally West. You know, Kid Flash? Joe West made some beautiful humans. The Wests invite this other new West inside and we all just stare at the TV with our jaws hanging open waiting for January 19.

Check out the beautiful, wide-eyed innocence. No seriously he is literally the most wide-eyed person I’ve ever seen. Phwoar.

Post-Credits Tag:
I chose this GIF specifically for how fine Wells looks in it.

Another Zoom and Harry meet-up. Harry Wells divulges that he’s figured out Zoom’s plan: Zoom is sending Earth-2 assassins to level Barry up and increase his powers. Harry understands that Zoom wants Barry to be as strong as he could be… just so that Zoom could suck the Speed Force from him to become even more powerful.

Zoom basically responds, “Yeah, so what?”

He then teases Wells with a Jesse QUICK hug from his daughter before taking her away. The little reunion is enough to fuel Harry’s desperation, and he agrees to help Zoom.

First Wally and now Jesse? The second half of this season is going to have ALL THE SPEEDSTERS.

Super-Quick Things:

That’s it until January.

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