Disney is in a pickle. The company that used to be a four-quadrant factory has to survive in a world where nobody is satisfied. The challenge of which results in something of an identity crisis. Do they aim for progress and alienate half the country? Or play it safe? There is no better representation of this confusion than Mark Webb’s Snow White.

It’s bad enough that Disney’s live-action remakes are generally subpar. With the exception of Cinderella and Jungle Book, very few have actually impressed. So the deck was already stacked against Snow White. However, when you cast a controversial actress like Gal Gadot as a co-lead, and decide perplexingly not to cast little people in a story where they are necessary, you’re creating something even more toxic than a skull shaped apple.

And it’s an incredible shame because somewhere there’s a movie within Snow White that has potential. Progressively casting a talented Latina actress like Rachel Zegler, and trying to craft a different story about a rebellion and the power of kindness, set to songs by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul? This absolutely could have been better.

There’s almost no real reason to summarize the story for this one for you. The story of Snow White is the same as it ever was when the Brothers Grimm put pen to paper centuries ago. Where Disney elongates the narrative (at least in a fairly positive way) is by changing some of the archaic motivations and directions of the story’s characters. Snow White wants love *and* to restore glory to her kingdom. The idea of “fairness” goes beyond just objectifying a woman for her looks. And the love interest is more of a roguish “Dread Pirate Roberts” type than a prince who saves the princess.

Do these changes make the movie worth your time? Not really. At least no more than other failed Snow White interpretations like Snow White and the Huntsman or Mirror Mirror. Particularly since a lot of what they attempt to do feels utterly half-hearted, because the movie never fully owns up to the changes they’ve made or even commits to them. They get rid of other songs, like “Someday My Prince Will Come” and create new plot elements like Snow White leading a revolution (that ends in perhaps the most stupidly anticlimactic way possible). However, they keep the traditional elements like the climactic “True Love’s Kiss” and some signature songs like “Heigh Ho.” These elements don’t blend together as seamlessly as the filmmakers believe they do, leading to a lot of things that feel like they’re in conflict with one another; especially since the filmmakers and cast went on record criticizing the traditional aspects of the original only to keep many of those aspects in the film. One can’t help but feel like a better, more consistent movie would be feasible if they just stuck to a single direction. You simply cannot say “this story is archaic” then double down on the same story beats that made it archaic.

In addition to this, the half-heartedness continues in a way that actually really bothered me. Disney openly patted itself on the back for the casting of Zegler; which is fine. Hiring a Latina actress to portray Snow White is huge. That being said, good luck to any other POC actor in the film. Snow White either seems to relegate the screentime and lines (if applicable) of any other POC characters to background decor, or sticks them in a literal dungeon for most of the movie. It was hilarious to see how pandering the movie was by creating three Black characters as bandits in Jonathan’s (Snow’s love interest) company, including one Black actress, only to have them essentially say nothing, do nothing, or have zero names or personalities. They do this again later in the movie, with an Asian actor and another Black actor as palace guards (though granted at least they had names and kind of do something). The cameras focus on these characters as Disney’s way of saying “see how inclusive we are” but they provide none of them with any sort of value. It seems incredibly pointless and is incredibly frustrating.

The most egregious of these examples, and by far the most blatant in Disney’s attempts to cover its own ass, was the casting of George Appleby as Quigg another bandit in Jonathan’s band. Snow White came under heavy controversy for many reasons (don’t worry we’ll get to a lot more of them in a sec). One of which was the decision to transform The Seven Dwarfs into mystical CG creatures with glowing hands that help them discover diamonds in the kingdom’s mines. This angered the Little People community because of its decision to hire actors without dwarfism to play these characters via motion capture. Not only did the result look terrible from a VFX perspective, but it also took away opportunities from many other actors in the community who could have portrayed those characters. So Disney’s solution? Cast Appleby in another random role, just because. To which one must pose the question: then why the hell didn’t you cast others from the community as The Seven Dwarfs? Why bother reimagining them to begin with? It’s as if Appleby’s casting is being used as a peace offering with the community, in the most hollow and insincere way of the studio protecting itself from a controversial decision they already committed to.

All of which prompts the idea that for this film, “progress” for Disney is merely a publicity stunt. They claim to be progressive, but reveal how truly tone deaf they really are through the actions they take to try and cover up their mistakes. In the case of Appleby’s casting and character, it proves to be all the more minimal and far too late. In the case of casting actors like Dujonna Gift or Jaih Betote, or even Ansu Kabia as a character as important as The Huntsman, who spends the majority of the movie in a dungeon or off screen, it proves that the studio (at least for this film) seems to only see these POC actors as facades and props to promote their “inclusive” initiatives. When in fact, given the actual quality of these roles, it seems ridiculously glib. Again something that completely negates the progressive step of casting Zegler for the lead role. Unfortunately, one step forward doesn’t justify three steps back.

Next we need to tackle the elephant in the room: the casting of Gadot. From the very get-go, casting an anti-Palestinian former Israeli soldier as the Evil Queen was not a great idea, given recent events. However, Gadot proves once more why she’s one of the worst actresses working today with her turn as the Evil Queen. The flat line deliveries and her horrible singing prove to be ear poison of the most extreme. So why the hell cast her to begin with? Disney was willing to risk the controversy of supporting someone currently supporting genocide in the Gaza region, for this? I don’t know where to begin in terms of how many different mistakes were made in committing to that decision. On a moral level, why would you give this person this job? On an entertainment level why would you give this person this job? Gadot has proven herself to be a terrible actress time and time again. So what part of that makes it worth it to cast someone so negatively (in the words of The Queen herself) opinionated about the conflict between Israel and Palestine? Any other less controversial actor would have done a better job with this role, so why double down and commit to Gadot; especially in a movie that’s preaching about kindness, fairness, and goodness. It’s absolutely as inexplicable as it is inexcusable.

The sole positives I can give this movie are Zegler and the songs by Pasek and Paul. Zegler is phenomenal. I know that the online community of haters will crucify me for saying this, but frankly I don’t care. We have to call a spade a spade, and she’s both a good actress and an absolutely marvelous singer. It’s a tough job, because Zegler is struggling to carry this movie, with all of its multiple layers of baggage and controversy, not to mention poor decisions on an entertainment level. For the most part, she proves to be at least moderately successful. Her performance as Snow is charming and bright. She infuses the character with a bit of optimism, and admittedly innocent naïveté, but also power that draws you to the character. Her line deliveries work (especially when acting opposite a flawed example like Gadot) and her casting proves that you don’t need to be White to be a great version of Snow White. As long as you’re charismatic, believable, talented, and can sing the crap out of the songs, that’s all that should matter. Zegler absolutely understood, and more than that, crushed the hell out of that assignment.

Additionally, the soundtrack is strong. Pasek and Paul through Snow White alone have proven themselves to be, at this juncture, the best Disney songwriting team to come along during a time when even Lin-Manuel Miranda is struggling. I can’t hum a single horrible note from the absolutely forgettable or terrible songs of Mufasa. However, from a movie I’d more or less want to forget, ironically the songs from Snow White are actually incredibly memorable. They steer into the classic nature of iconic Broadway tropes, such as the “I want” song with the showstopping “Waiting on a Wish,” to the “bad guy” song “All is Fair,” and the ensemble song with “Where the Good Things Grow.” It gives the movie an incredibly classy feel, while also feeling modern. If only we could say the same about the other confused aspects of the film.

My only wish here was that terrible singers like Gadot weren’t butchering really good songs like “All is Fair” like they were drunk bridal party members caterwauling to the top of their lungs at karaoke night. Do the songs somewhat contribute to that previously mentioned clash between the modern and traditional? Yes. However, that’s not Pasek and Paul’s fault or their job to blend them well. It’s Webb’s, and he simply was in over his head with this task. Pasek and Paul were solely tasked with writing good music, and they do their job, and do it well. It’s because of them and Zegler that this movie has any number of bright spots.

And that’s because the rest of Snow White is a mess. Sidestepping the controversial insincerity of Disney for a moment, so much of what should have been an easy and less expensive job to bring this simple movie to life was completely mishandled along the way. Disney poured a reported $270M into this production, and I have no idea where that money went. Snow White looks cheap as hell. The green screen sets and backgrounds are incredibly obvious and honestly very ugly. The CG animals and their hideous facial expressions are probably the closest thing this film has to passable VFX. Because The Seven Dwarfs, the Magic Mirror, and so many other aspects of the visuals look like relics from the early ’00s era of terrible, cheap computer animation. How Webb or any of the executives could look at the Magic Mirror scenes, or the horrendous and creepy faces of The Dwarfs, and give this movie a greenlight is mind blowing. Because I felt like I was watching scenes from a bad video game. I feel sorry for the VFX artists who were trapped in post-production hell, only to get this far with limited time and money. But wow.

The costumes and production designs are also incredibly horrible. From the blandness of the castle, to the really cluttered and ugly looking set of The Seven Dwarfs’ cottage, and the ugly diamond mines, none of the sets looked real or awe inspiring. It looked almost at times like sets from a cheap and ugly Broadway production. Contrast this with the work the Oscar-winning team behind Wicked did with real sets and a budget of about $100M less, and again, you have to wonder where the hell Disney spent its resources for this movie? Taking Wicked as an example, every frame of the film transported us to Munchkinland, Shizz, and the Emerald City, with vibrant and gorgeous colors, and interesting architectural designs. Snow White takes you to an unknown kingdom with an ordinary castle, without a single memorable feature.

Additionally, the costume designs on this one were atrocious as well. It pains me to say that because Sandy Powell is such an incredible artist. While Zegler’s iconic yellow and blue dress should have looked fantastic, it actually looked really cheap. It reminded me of a larger version of the exact costumes the children at Disneyland wear when they dress as Snow White. I can’t say for sure if it’s actually the material and the fabric, or perhaps the filters and lighting that Webb used and approved, but it made the costumes look like Spirit Halloween fabric. I’ve seen cosplayers at D23 Expo do way better with way less, and even the dress Rachel Weisz wore in Annie Leibovitz’s Disney Dream Portrait series looked more realistic. Gadot’s outfit and cape also looked really cheap. Maybe it’s the collars both dresses had? I just don’t understand how poorly you could translate these costumes into a big budget movie like this, but they found a way.

This again all falls back on Webb. He was just the wrong director for this movie, and is proving to be a disappointing talent overall, post his debut with (500) Days of Summer. He simply could not bring all of the elements and talent this movie had going for it together. And he seemed to have been complacent with many of the poor decisions here that blend together to make this ugly mess of a movie. From Gadot’s casting, and her overall performance, to the aesthetics of the movie, Webb’s direction fails to adequately find a satisfying way to contemporize such a simple story, the same way other interpretations, and even Disney remakes, actually managed to do with moderate success. It just didn’t come together in a way that really could satisfy everyone.

At the end of the day, Snow White could have been one of Disney’s better live action remakes. Alas, it ends up mostly being an exercise in poor decision-making, tone deaf casting, and the cloying desire to try and please everyone. The problem with that is you end up satisfying no one. I don’t fully blame anyone here. The studio is under pressure to do too many things with this movie to satisfy a changing audience. Webb is under pressure from the studio to deliver a billion-dollar blockbuster on time. And many of the decisions, such as Gadot’s casting, were made prior to the current developments in the Israeli–Palestinian conflict. However, given the challenges already at hand, the one question remains, as it always has: why was this necessary? Why bother remaking Snow White or any other animated classics to begin with. If the answer is “to make it relevant to kids today” then this movie still failed that requirement.

I don’t see the harm in actually sharing the timeless stories with children as they are, whether it’s a book of fairy tale stories, or a 1937 animated classic. Perhaps a better film could still have been made with Zegler and the terrific songs showcased in the film. Unfortunately, we’ll be forever “waiting on a wish” for that better film to ever see the light of day.

Overall Score (on an entertainment level): C-
Overall Score (on a representation level): D