Guess We Don’t Need to See Batman v Superman Now

Since when did Jimmy Kimmel Live become the go-to place for movie studios to drop their most anticipated trailers? It made sense before to have all-Marvel or all-Star Wars editions — Disney owns ABC, after all — but using Kimmel to reveal Warner/DC’s formal entry into the cinematic superhero wars was a surprise. Like, why not use The CW’s two-part Flarrow crossover1 to show off their big guns? Corporate synergy, remember? Still, like a proper nerd, I tuned in to Kimmel to see the latest tease for what will be the biggest movie of March 2016.

How they were able to spoil a three-hour movie in three minutes is beyond me, but leave it to WB for finding a way! Well, in order to give DC’s hero vs. hero showdown equal time to Marvel’s own recent reveal, here are some of the questions raised (and answered) by the trailer.

What kind of Lex will Jesse Eisenberg be?

Unfortunately, it looks like the latest big screen incarnation of Lex Luthor is also going camp. Like Hackman and Spacey before him, an Oscar-nominated actor has decided Luthor isn’t important enough to take seriously. I wish someone would have handed BvS screenwriters Chris Terrio and David Goyer box sets of the first seven seasons of Smallville to show how to approach a live action Lex.

What’s the Man of Steel version of reporter Clark Kent like?

We never got to see the traditional journalist side of Clark in Man of Steel. Fortunately, it looks like Clark — trenchcoat, glasses, and all — will be in full effect, especially since it seems like he’ll be investigating the vigilante in Gotham. It was also interesting to see the interplay between Cavill’s Clark and Affleck’s Bruce Wayne — though what’s up with Ben’s drawl as Bruce?

Also don’t understand why Lex makes a big deal out of Clark Kent meeting Bruce Wayne.

I mean, Clark just started at the Daily Planet. It’s not like he’s a well known reporter yet (he didn’t even know who Bruce Wayne was). Who cares if they’re meeting?

Are those really Parademons?

Maybe? Most speculation is that all of the desert scenes are part of an elaborate dream sequence belonging to Bruce. According to Devin Faraci, that dream is actually a message sent from Darkseid (because there aren’t enough characters in this movie):

What’s more, the sequence in the desert with what could be Darkseid’s Parademons backs up an early version of the script I was privy to, in which the villain of Justice League sends to Bruce Wayne a nightmare vision of a world ruled by Superman. That vision was absent from the draft handed in a month before shooting, but this looks to confirm that the dream sequence is back in. At least that’s the only way I can make sense of that scene, based on what I know.

Will there be humor in the movie?

Why is Batman fighting Superman?

Also, since when was “Bat of Gotham” one of Batman’s nicknames? Anyway, we could figure out from the previous trailer that Bruce blames Superman for the destruction of Metropolis and Gotham, but this new trailer makes it pretty clear that Lex is primarily responsible for the “v” between Batman and Superman’s name. He’s somehow set the two heroes against one another and Lois Lane doesn’t approve.

While the movie’s marketing materials seemed to imply that the whole movie would be about their battle, most people figured out that Bats and Supes would team up before the credits rolled.

Why do Batman and Superman team up anyway?

I guess 2008’s Incredible Hulk with Ed Norton is having a moment. Since the Civil War trailer decided to bring back William Hurt as Thunderbolt Ross, the BvS trailer thought it could use that movie’s CGI monster design as well.

Basically, since Batman won’t fight Superman, Lex creates Doomsday (out of Zod’s corpse) to do the job. It’s a rumor that’s been around seemingly since the movie was announced, and this confirms it. Why is this happening? And why does Batman have a gun? Fuck you, that’s why.

At least Doomsday’s presence leads to the lone bright spot in the trailer/movie…

How does Wonder Woman tie in to the plot?

What’s the deal with studios putting all of their money shots in trailers now? No lie, I was heavy eye-rolling for most of the trailer but definitely let out an audible cheer when Diana emerged behind her Themysciran shield. Then I thought, “that cheer should’ve been saved for the movie.” Also worried that might be the extent of her screen time as well. 

Still, that scene alone got me super pumped… for the Wonder Woman movie in 2017.

In conclusion, I’m gonna copy and paste what I said at the end of the Civil War trailer breakdown:

Sorry DC/WB.

When it comes to iconic, multi-billion-dollar IPs duking it out on a giant IMAX movie screen, make mine Marvel! I know we’re supposed to be happy that we’re living in an abundance of riches when it comes to superhero movies, but until Batman v Superman proves otherwise [it didn’t], we’re still living in a Marvel Studios world.

  1. Sure, WB gave Fox’s Gotham their teaser for this trailer. But fuck Gotham. 

14 thoughts on “Guess We Don’t Need to See Batman v Superman Now

  1. I think Lex was happy they met because he is supposed to know who they “really” are. I’m assuming he’s probably brought them together on purpose somehow.

  2. The trailer is better than its predecessors. It’s still not there yet but better. Good to know I’m not the only one who saw the Abomination. But watching Lois call Lex insane was already done in Superman Returns.

    The trailer looked it was directed by three different people. Soderbergh, Snyder, and Trank.

      1. It means the same thing. It’ll probably become a cliche in future films – Lois discovers Luthor’s plot and calls him mad. Then Superman fights to save the day.

  3. Batman used guns in comic. Multiple times. Even in movies and cartoon.
    I don’t get why people suddenly has this idea about batman never and won’t use gun.

    1. I’ll guess you’ll have to watch it to find out. So far I don’t find these characters inspiring.

    1. It’s become an occasional weapon since the aftermath of the first Crisis of Infinite Earths. Her fellow Amazons use them, including her mother.

  4. This film would make more sense if it were Daffy Duck vs. Bugs Bunny with Elmer Fudd playing them against each other.

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