NOC Recaps The Flash: From Whole Speed Force to 2%

ConStar here standing in for Christelle, but neither of us are running fast enough…! WHO STOLE OUR SPEED?

I realize I’m getting my milk/speed force analogies mixed up for the 2% pun, but let me live. I only just learned that whole milk is only 3.5% milk anyway.

Episode 2×12 of The Flash, “Fast Lane,” features two characters slowing down: Barry and Wally. Both of their speed problems converge upon Iris, is this a sign of things to come for poor Iris West? There’s a monster of the week, but it’s not all that interesting, so we’ll be zipping by mentions of it.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Origin Story in Reverse

Like the return of Harrison Wells earlier in the season, the latest episode of The Flash found an interesting way bring back last season’s main baddie: The Reverse Flash! Unlike Wells-2, this isn’t an alternative universe version of Eobard Thawne. Instead, the Thawne we meet in “The Reverse Flash Returns” is actually one from a timeline different from last season’s Reverse-Wells. Yeah, it’s kind of confusing.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: DTR (Define-The-Relationship)

“Potential Energy,” the title of 2016’s first episode, is pure nerd genius. This episode explores the coulda-shoulda- woulda potential of fresh relationships between our favorite characters and some of the show’s newcomers: Barry + Patty Spivot, Joe + Wally West, and Caitlin + Jay Garrick. By the shock-factor end tag (don’t miss it!), one pairing aggressively commits to eachother, one pairing takes the first tentative steps towards building a stronger connection, and one pairing dissolves in a pile of angst. Keep reading to figure out the fate of each duo.

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NOC Recaps Arrow: Hubris, Not Hope

As we know, Team Flarrow is trying to protect the Hawks from Vandal Savage, who wants to murder them because of destiny or habit or something. So everyone’s all teamed up, Kendra’s unlocked her hawking powers, and Oliver’s spotted his baby mama!

I’ve been so cautious this season, guys. Good things were happening. Oliver was LEARNING LESSONS. TEAM FLARROW WAS AWESOME. Despite some plot/exposition bumps, the team up in this half of the crossover was fun. There were things I wished for: Less Carter. ANY Snowlicity aside from their one nerd moment. Less white ancient Egypt (I’ll get on some of that later). But the Barry/Oliver moments were great — they’re wonderful foils for each other. As was anything with Cisco. Can he be my friend? Also he should be in every show. But just like we were burned last season with the Ra’s al Ghul arc, this Kid arc (I’ll come up with a better name for it another time) is only going to lead to terrible things. Unhappy fans. Annoyed fans.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: It’s Getting Hawk in Here

Other title options: Ready to Hawk and Roll, Hawked and Loaded, Hawk of Ages, We Will Hawk You, Too Hawk Hawk Damn, and Drop It like It’s Hawk1.

Before we begin… does Hawkgirl “claim” to be white? Uh oh, this is hawkward… but it wouldn’t be too surprising. (See Sandra Hawke, Sin, and Ra’s Al Ghul). I personally went through Kendra Saunders’ twitter history to read her tweets and reactions and responses to identifying as white. I urge others to do the same and form an opinion after seeing both sides.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Grodd + PTZD

It’s the return of Grodd! But we’re mainly dealing with the aftermath of Zoom. Not all of the destruction was physical; Barry’s spine has basically healed but the shame of losing has not yet scarred over. Well, hopefully he “gets back on his feet” soon because superhero legends need him! Let’s just think of Grodd as the big bad boss of this video game level.

I almost didn’t change the title “Gorilla Warfare,” the original was just too good.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Desperate Measures

The Flash has reached near terminal velocity in my eyes with this episode featuring The Flash family at it’s craziest and the welcoming of Linda Park to the team. We all knew Linda had to get into the Secret Speedster Society at some point, considering she is the future Mrs. Wally West, but I did not expect it to be so freaking fun.

Linda Park is… a ball of light.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Daddy Coldest

I always look forward to an episode featuring Wentworth Miller as Leonard Snart aka Captain Cold. The Flash’s encounters with Cold always end up with the two of them in a romantic-ish telenovela scene — like a lover’s spat in a moonlit forest or one of them saving the other’s life before fleeing town. I mean, I know SnartBarry (or ColdFlash?) isn’t a real “ship”, but the dynamic between the superhandsome superhero and his superhandsome supervillain entertains me even more than WestAllen or Snowbarry. Yeah, I said it.

This official, non-dream season return of Captain Cold was no different; Family of Rogues was a real (frozen) treat. Their relationship is so complicated.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Getting Goosies from Earth-Two(sies)

“I opened up our world to new threats, and I am the only one fast enough to stop them.”  You sure about that, Barry?

Barry spends the episode denying the existence of another speedster due to some residual other-speedster trust issues, when he should really be wrapping his mind around the existence of another freaking Earth. It’s official: Earth-2 is a thing and pretty much everyone, except Barry, is running with it. C’mon Barry, it’s exciting! Like Cisco, the king Nerd of Color, we’re getting goosies!

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Rebuild It and They Will Come

I bet you didn’t think that our second season would include Barry Allen ditching Team Flash to become a mysterious midnight contractor, Cisco becoming a semi-cop, Harrison Wells making things right, and Iris West actively-in-the-know regarding all things concerning The Flash. Yes, that all happened… or did it? I don’t know who or what to trust anymore after the re-imagined reality that was the episode’s opener.

It’s like one minute you’re in a bear hug (Barry-hug?) with Grant Gustin… but then you pull back to realize you’ve been hugging the sharp bony angles of Ezra Miller instead. NO NO NO. NOT MY FLASH. HE IS NOT MY FLASH. #NotMyFlash

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NOC Recaps The Flash: No Fate But What We Make

It is time to bust out my time-travel movie reference arsenal, because things are about to get heavy, Doc. Yes, this recap title is a Terminator quote, and dammit does it apply. I am about to recap the crap out of The Flash’s first season finale, so SPOILER ALERT: you can’t go back in time and unread what you’re about to read if you haven’t already seen this magnificent episode of superhero time travel television. Alright, here I go:

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NOC Recaps The Flash: With Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies?

If last week’s “Rogue Air” is anything to go by, tonight’s episode will be a beautifully worked and satisfying finale leaving us with lots to look forward to in the second season. Before I recap the penultimate episode below, I want to bring attention to the title “Rogue Air.” This show (and Cisco) has made it clear that names are important, so why the partnering between the words “rogue” and “air?” Team-ups and partnerships were a major theme of the episode, and “rogue” obviously refers to Captain Cold’s teaming with The Flash, then his betrayal to form his own team of Rogues. But “air?” Could it be alluding to Ferris Air and a possible test-pilot Hal Jordan aka Green Lantern coming into Barry’s life? The presence of The Flash’s superfriends and Arrow’s changing-of-the-suit-color to make room for another guy who likes green leads me to believe YES YES HELL YES.

Alright, onto the recap.

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Why There Must be an Arrow/Flash/Supergirl Musical Crossover

The latest issue of Variety features a profile of super-producer Greg Berlanti — who will have six(!) different shows on three different networks next season. It’s a great profile about one of the most prolific producers in Hollywood. But what got the internet buzzing was the magazine’s cover, featuring Berlanti flanked by the stars of his most recent superhero offerings: The Flash’s Grant Gustin and Supergirl’s Melissa Benoist.

Because they’re both Glee alums, it got me thinking about the potential for not only a Flarrow/Supergirl crossover, but why that crossover needs to be a musical episode!

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NOC Recaps The Flash: This Sh*t is Bananas

“Grodd Lives” is like that old school video game level before the Big Boss that you may die a couple times trying to beat, so you just turn off the game and restart the battle until you are successful. Just add the drama of your best friend/love of your life learning your biggest secret and having that person watch you as you keep taking brutal hits.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: It’s a Trap!

The episode is called “The Trap,” and refers not to the semi-idiotic plan by Team Flash to lure an anachronistic speedster villain into his own basement, but the counter-trap set up by the Reverse Flash to use their trap as the actual trap to trap them. I know. A lot happens.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Bee-ing Truthful or Why Lies Sting

Central City buzzed with excitement this week when Team Flash teams up with Team ATOM  (Team ATOM consisting solely of Arrow‘s Felicity Smoak and Ray Palmer) to tackle CC’s new bee problem. The bees, however, aren’t the only stings felt by our favorite Central citizens: Barry hesitates whether or not to talk to Cisco and Caitlin about his Wells theories,  Eddie and Iris are on the road to couples counseling, and Cisco is feeling some bad vibes concerning Dr. Wells. Are we sure that bees are the only bug problem? Surely, there have gotta be spiders, too, because everyone is tangled in a GOTDAMB WEB OF LIES.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: May The Speed Force Be With You

The Flash won’t be back until April 14, so I’m here to late-recap last week’s “Tricksters” episode and muse upon the recent spoiler-y sizzle reel revealed this past weekend at WonderCon!

While thinking about last week’s episode, I’m alternating listening to “Father Figure” by George Michael and “Tricky” by Run DMC. A lot of daddy issues in this one, but there are also a lot of fun inside jokes. So while you read this, keep in mind that during the serious moments I am singing, “I will be your father figure, put your tinyhandinmine” and during the fun Trickster moments, I’m rocking a rhyme that’s right on time.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Sibling Roguery

Barry runs so fast that he literally runs through time and back “a day and some change,” specifically into the beginning of last week’s episode. To recap, he’s ran into a time before [SPOILER ALERT] Weather Wizard 2.0 kidnapped Joe in revenge, before Captain Singh was hospitalized/paralyzed, before the WestAllen kiss, before a tsunami threatened Central City, and before Wells vibrated his fist through Cisco’s chest.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: The Wizard Returns

This recap of The Flash is going to be a little different because 1.) too many things happened that I’m not sure actually happened because I may have been buzzed from green St. Patrick’s Day beer and 2.) I’m much more interested in the events that reference the established history within the show and how those things might be undone in the future. You know, because — SPOILER ALERT — Barry Allen freaking ran into the past. He ran right through time, y’all. Continue reading “NOC Recaps The Flash: The Wizard Returns”

NOC Recaps The Flash: Too Hot (Hot Damn)

This week’s episode of The Flash, “The Nuclear Man,” heats up with both the Firestorm storyline and Barry Allen’s love life. This show is too hot, hot damn. We take a break from our usual villain wreaking havoc on Central City and delve into some of the overarching mysteries set up during the first half of the season: F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M, Nora Allen’s murder, and what happens when The Flash get sexually excited?

Don’t believe me? Just watch1.

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Peek-A-Boo(b)

“Crazy For You” opens in an upside-down car with two “ohmygod”-ing teenagers strapped down (up?) and trapped while electrical wires zap around, signaling to us that they are in trouble. It’s very Smallville/CSI/Teen Horror Movie, but I accept it; The Flash has always had a trope-ier tone anyways. Our hero zips in just as a powerline ignites the car’s leaked gas and creates a LITERAL RING OF FIRE around the inverted vehicle. Shit goes down real fast, but our man in red is even faster. The car bursts into flames like Ronnie Raymond, but Barry has already rescued the remaining victim. And the Central City Fire Department is all, “Okay we can take it from here, I think.”

But the two car crash victims embrace and turn to Barry. “Thank you… Flash.”

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NOC Recaps The Flash: Revenge of the (Bro)gues

Only my fellow nerds understand how excited I was to hear a narrative voiceover again, despite basically memorizing our hero’s speech. But it’s a new year, and we have a new Barry!

“My name is Barry Allen. I am not the fastest man alive.”

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