All the Barry Allens. All the Iris Wests. All the Caitlin Snows. All the Jay Garricks?

I’d laugh that Zoom is doing the CW voiceover for this episode if he weren’t, um you know, scary as hell. Zoom takes Banksy-ing a city to a whole other level:

Harry Wells orders the evacuation of S.T.A.R. Labs-2 because the entire city is pointing Zoom in Wells-2’s direction (including the not-so-good-version lab assistant Henry Hewitt/Tokamak-2). Barry Allen-2 wakes up just as Zoom infiltrates the Lab, and he wants to “have some words” with his captors who left him tied up in the basement for barely-a-day, but the three must quickly hide out in the Time Vault/Braille Room (of Requirement). Barry-2 doesn’t handle it well.

Zoom phases through the fake wall, but passes his three targets hidden behind — wait for it– a second fake wall. Wall-ception [BRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWRWRRRMRMRMMRRMMMMM!!!]. Could this possibly be a clue from the writer’s breaking the Fourth Wall, so to speak, hinting to us that the identity of Zoom is several levels deep of fakeout wall after fakeout wall? I’m reading too much into this.

In Zoom’s lair of three prisoners, pre-speedster Jesse Quick tells Barry that trying to escape is useless and everything is useless and they are all useless individuals, especially her father and the mysterious man in the iron mask tapping coded messages on the glass. P.S. She is not a big fan of her father.

Teenagers, am I right? But Barry, deep down inside, will always be a Harry Wells fanboy. He tells Jesse that he has faith in her father. Barry Allen is the best. No wonder Harry Wells is so sprung on Earth-1.

Zoom speeds in to ruin the moment with some harsh truths: Jesse is only alive so that he can kill her in in front of Harry Wells (WHY DOES HE HATE HIM SO MUCH?), and Harry  Wells is only alive to steal Barry’s speed. He’s a No-Bullshit villain.

Meanwhile back on Earth-1, Jay Garrick laments his lame Re-Flash failure to stop Geomancer from terrorizing a Barry-less Central City by stabilizing the Breach Door Thing. Hmmm… he was just working on it by himself? With no one to witness him? I don’t trust you right now, Jay. Especially since he keeps pushing brilliant Dr. Caitlin Snow into upgrading the Velocity-7-8-9 serum to work on his body, for seemingly noble, “I gotta stop bad guys!” reasons.  Oh no, I’ve jumped off of the SnowJay ship.

Iris has a new boss: Scott Evans. My love-interest senses are tingling. Or maybe he’ll be a journalist mentor who will push Iris West professionally. Or both?!

Barry-2 adorkably explains to his wife, Iris-2, that he was not himself yesterday so she shouldn’t get upset that he ditched her the day her father died. Cisco and Harry watch on as WestAllen-2 wrap their brains about the Multiple Earth Situation (aka Season 2). Grant Gustin does some of his best Mild-Mannered Scientist here; I’m so impressed by how different and the same Barry-2 is from our Barry.

Speaking of “our Barry,” Wells asks Iris to help find Zoom to save his daughter and “our Barry.” Yes, he says, “our Barry” even though he is technically Earth-2 Harrison Wells aka Wells-2 aka his Barry is sitting right in front of him flailing about Iris-2 kissing Barry-1.

Iris suggests they use one of Zoom’s meta-henchmen to track Zoom; Cisco thinks of the heartbroken Killer Frost. Barry-2, CSI Extraordinaire, rambles on while using a special program that utilizes evidence and data combined by other CSI Techs (including Patty Spivot!) to trace the location of metahumans. It’s very Clark Kent alter-ego in the way his voice goes up and down while he humble brags. I love Barry-2. Especially when he insists on tagging along the mission.

IRIS: No, you’ll get hurt and I’ll lose my husband as well as my father!
HARRY & CISCO: No, you’ll be a liability and ruin everything!
ME: Yes, it’ll be hilarious and I like your face in those glasses!

In Zoom’s Lair, the prisoner in the iron mask keeps tapping the glass. Barry does a little Hero Mentoring with Jesse… you can even hear some potential musical theme score for her as they attempt to decode the third prisoner’s pattern of knocking. They figure out the code and I FREAK THE FUCK OUT.

It’s, hmmm, interesting to me that while the Zoom prisoners communicate some crucial information to each other, we flash to Earth-1, where Jay Garrick is currently occupied by his genius girlfriend who just discovered Velocity-9 and Iris West who’s buggin’ him for an interview. Oh, and then Geodude challenges him on Live TV to stop a disaster. He wouldn’t be able to inconspicuously leave if he needed to. So, instead, he doses up with some Velocity-9.

Jay speeds back to the the Lab, all golden and heroic and smiley. He’s a cutie pie, but I STILL DON’T TRUST HIM. Especially when he tells SnowWest that he’s gonna take a nap. A nap, Jay? Oh really? ON WHICH EARTH?

Unless it’s all a gigantic misdirect, the nap is perfectly timed with Zoom cutting off the three prisoner pow-wow and beating the shit out of Barry-1. Our Barry is oddly cool with it because it revealed the only way to exit the prison cell: phase through.

“Enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? What — don’t tell me it doesn’t work like that over here!” — Cisco Ramon

In an Arrow-esque change of location, the hybridized Team Flash scouts the woodlands for Killer Frost. Cisco-1 does his best to convince her to switch sides, but she’s a little bit icy about it:

Barry-2 is not used to all the action. He’s wearing wingtips, for goodnesss sake!

There’s  a lot of weapon firing and icicles flying and Barry-2 flopping around. Iris and Cisco (Irisco?) corner Caitlin-KF-2, and interrogate her about Zoom’s hideout once more.

KILLER FROST : If I tell you, he will kill me.

CISCO: He’ll kill you anyway, Caitlin.

KILLER FROST/CAITLIN-2: Stop calling me that! It’s not my name.

CISCO: Yes it is, you just don’t want to hear it because it reminds you of someone you used to be. Trust me, I know that person very wall.

The KillerVibe in this episode is very, very strong. Cisco appeals to the inner-Caitlin Snow buried within Killer Frost and she gives in just as I start blowing my nose from sobbing. Zoom’s Lair is on the side of a cliff… a Cliff of Insanity, if you will. The plan is to create a frozen staircase and hike right into the Zoom Room. Barry-2 is skeptical, but he’ll do it. For his wife. It’s probably my favorite WestAllen moment from the show, even if it is technically WestAllen-2.

On Earth-1, SnowWest take out Geodude after he breaks into the lab. Where’s Jay? Napping. Mhmmm. Detective Joe West shows up for a quick minute to bring Geodude to Iron Heights. I missed Joe. In post-kickass bliss, Caitlin tells Jay that she’s found a cure to regenerate his cells AND his speed. He’s very, very interested. Very interested. Sigh, that’s Caitlin Snow: when she loves someone, they become her world.

Remember when Iris saved Caitlin from Peek-a-Boo?

In Zoom’s Cliffside Lair, the rescue squad reaches the captives. Wells and Jesse reunite, as everyone looks on. Barry whispers, “Wells” under his breath like a prayer. Forever a fanboy. Cisco and Barry make heart eyes at each other through Barry’s one-of-a-kind glass prison.

Frosty Caitlin begrudgingly helps release Jesse, but when she tries to freeze-shatter Barry’s cell she is unable to do so. He must phase through; it is the only way. Barry doesn’t think he can, and tells everyone to leave him there. Go on! Git! You don’t need  me. Just leave me be!

ME: Oh yes yes yes yes yes it’s happening. This is happening.
ME: Yes yes yes inspire each other yes I am so into this.

Just as everyone loses hope, Barry-2 gives Barry-1 a pep talk. It’s my new religion.

Barry-1 doesn’t want to leave without the mysterious masked prisoner, who is coincidentally also behind a glass prison. Maybe the mask prevents him from fading, as well. An identity-concealing, phase-preventing iron mask. But Zoom shows up because, I guess, Frost-Cait ratted them out?

Dayum. Great line.

“Just so you know, You would be very disappointed in you right now,” yells Cisco. But Caitlin-2 flips again and helps freeze Zoom for a while so the squad can escape. COLD IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPEED. COLD IS THE OPPOSITE OF SPEED! Barry makes a Bro Pact with Iron Mask to come back for him. It’s so bromantic.

Now this is wear my Jay-Maybe-Bad-Guy Theory has a flaw: Jay and Joe gotta fix the Breach so that our bb’s can come back to Earth-1. They stabilize it, of course, and it’s all gonna be fine. WestAllen-2 say their goodbyes and get ready to leave Central City and hide out in Atlantis. Wells and Jesse Wells decide it’s time to relocate, too, but to a different Earth. Barry speeds everyone back and forth through the breach with some sick spidey-jumping moves and finds Zoom dangling Harry wells by the neck. That’s, like his move. He does it a lot. Harry is about to pull that same self-sacrifice, tell-my-daughter-I-love-her bullshit, but Barry refuses to let him die. I straight up believed Wells was about to die, but Wells stabs him with a temporary anti-speed dart.

YAAAY! They made it! Jay throws a perfect spiral into the Breach. All is well. With Wells. Two Wells. All is two Wells. But then:

Super-quick Things:

  • Barry-1 looks more like a golden, shiny hero than ever, especially with so many glimpses of Barry-2 as juxtaposition.
    • “I’m calling it a lair.”

    • “She’s thorough.”

    • Iris and Jay interacting is throwing me off. Have they ever spoken before?
    • Of course Geodude breaks into S.T.A.R. Labs. “I was so surprised he manged that,” said LITERALLY NO ONE.
    • SnowWest saving each other. Also, why didn’t Jay wake up from his nap?

  • Snowbarry-1 vs. Snowbarry-2
  • I just love all the Barrys. All Barrys helping all other Barrys.

http://barrysass.tumblr.com/post/139520094252/barry-allen-trusting-other-versions-of-himself

I honestly don’t know what the aftermath of all of this is going to be. Every thing is weird and sharky. I’ll just leave some of the twitter reactions here.

Also including this GIF that perfectly describes me whenever this show pulls these plot-twist, theory game changers:

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