Color Commentary: Fifty Shades of Grey

 Color Commentary is back and in honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re critiquing  the 2015 major motion picture, 50 Shades of Grey. In the tradition of Honest Trailers and Mystery Science Theater 3000, this commentary is done in complete satire, is intended for a mature audience and is meant for entertainment purposes. In other words, if you take any of this seriously, you are a fracking idiot.

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Your Move, Marvel

So Misty Copeland and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, two of my favorite superheroes, have spoken out against the Under Armour CEO Kevin Plank for his support of President Donald Trump. The athletic clothing company sponsors both A-list superstars. That’s both awesome and to be expected given that both Copeland and Johnson are the epitome of Black/Asian Excellence.

My question however is this. Marvel CEO Isaac “Ike” Perlmutter gave a $1 million to Trump’s presidential campaign and continues to support his administration. Why aren’t any of the white actors from Marvel Studios stepping up and calling him out like Copeland and Johnson did Plank?

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Super Sixteen: Top Television Shows of 2016

It’s one of my favorite times of the year. It’s where I review the best and brightest that television had to offer in the previous year. If you haven’t already, you should check out my Top Films of 2016. Go ahead, check it out, I’ll wait. No really, I’ll wait. You back? Awesome.

As is the standard with my movie year-in-review, my television selections have to pass the Upkins Media Litmus Test.

Without further adieu…

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Sweet 16: Top Films of 2016

For the better part of a decade, this has become an annual tradition for yours truly.

From January to December I compile a list of the best, artistic and most progressive films, television shows, and music albums. One of the reasons I do this is to provide resources to readers who are looking for cerebral, fun, and progressive media. It does exist as my lists have continued to prove. Don’t say I never gave you anything. You’re welcome.

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Farewell Major Tom

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

Nearly a year ago today the music died.

Actor, rockstar, musician and suspected otherworldly being David Bowie passed away one year ago, three days after his birthday which is today.

As we celebrate Bowie’s life and legacy, I’m reminded of the fact that it was roughly around this time two years ago that we lost Leonard Nimoy.

Much like Nimoy, when I think back on Bowie, I realize that he was an influence on me in ways I never considered.

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The Chronicles of Swanson: The Lying, The Witches, and The Wu

When it comes to the Doctor Strange film, it continues to be the Greek-bearing gift of racism that keeps on giving.

I had no doubts that the white supremacy would ensue the moment it was announced that the Grand Wizard would portray the eponymous Sorcerer Supreme.

The film didn’t disappoint in this regard. After all like attracts like.

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Katniss in Space: A Rogue One Review 

This film could best be described as Katniss Everdeen In Space. While this prequel is light years (and a galaxy far away) of an improvement over the New Hope reboot aka The Force Awakens, it is not the second coming of Christ fanboys are making it out to be.

Katniss Everdeen in Space is not so much a good movie as it is a good Star Wars movie by Star Wars standards.

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Irony is a Shade of Scarlett

So like many of you I caught the interview where Scarlett Johannson encouraged moviegoers to keep asking for diversity.

Now I like ScarJo and all but like many of you I laughed heartily for a good five minutes.

The guffawing finally ceased when I realized this wasn’t an Onion article and the Lucy and Ghost In The Shell star was being serious.

Then this was my reaction.

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