Pizza party!  Reason why I love Barry Allen #427: He uses his powers for good… like running to Coast City to get the best pizza pies on the west coast. In my head, he bumped into a young test-pilot Hal Jordan. Maybe they exchanged a few friendly words, unaware of what kind of best friendship they’d eventually form. I wonder what they ordered on their pizzas? I wonder if they have similar pizza topping tastes, so that they’d probably even split a pie every once in a while. Wait, no. Barry needs all of the food for his metabolism. Maybe Hal shakes his head at Barry’s appetite beca — sorry, I lost focus. Pizza party.

So far, everyone in Central City who knows Barry’s secret who isn’t a body snatching, anachronistic speedster  was invited to the West house to discuss Harrison Wells/Reverse Flash. The game plan is this: Joe and Cisco investigate the night of the Tess Morgan’s death in Starling City, Eddie covers for Joe at the precinct, Caitlin covers for Cisco at the lab, and Barry must refrain from punching Wells in the face.

Villain of the Week

Hannibal Bates aka Everyman can shape-shift into any person he touches. The meta-human commits petty crimes, like robbing banks and stealing diamonds, but eventually he shape-shifts into Eddie and shoots two cops. Yeah, beautiful Eddie’s bad week went from shitty to worse.

At least he won’t have to worry about Iris not wanting to come home, since he’ll be IN PRISON. Oh, Eddie, you are too pretty to be locked up. Half of them will want to kill him because he’s a freaking detective, and the other half… well you know. Eddie is a beautiful human being with a beautiful butt.

I cannot deny, that Eddie is a hot bad guy.

Barry knows this — no, not Eddie’s cute butt thing — and works like a mad man to prove Eddie’s innocence. Yes, he’s doing it because Iris is going nuts, but the idea of an innocent man going to prison for a crime that a metahuman committed is a Barry Allen trigger. Seriously, Barry loses his cool and actually speeds Eddie out of custody and tells him to run to a place where the police can’t find him. I REPEAT: Barry Allen tried to White Fang Eddie Thawne… Go on! Git! Git outta here!!! It was not Barry’s brightest nor most rational moment. Eddie verbally slaps some sense into Barry to return him to the police station and find real evidence like a scientist/sane human being.

Eddie Thawne, Flash’s voice of reason

So Barry goes home to take a shower to presumably clean out the mess that’s in his head, when shapeshifter!Eddie knocks our hero out and stuffs him in an attic or something.

Let’s talk about shapeshifter!Barry: we got a glimpse of how much personality and facial expression makes Barry our Barry when he went all rage-y in the Flarrow crossover after encountering the Rainbow Raider; shapeshifter!Barry is no different. I do love an asshole/sexually overt Grant Gustin. This was panic/anxiety-inducing and fun.

“It’s not Barry Allen, it’s not Barry Allen, it’s not Barry Allen…” -me for like ten minutes

Caitlin creates a serum that that terminates “the polymerization reaction essentially forcing the bonds to revert to their original form” aka a morph-blocking serum. This freaks out Everyman (who has taken on the form of Barry Allen because seriously, who wouldn’t?) and he infiltrates S.T.A.R. Labs with Dr. Caitlin Snow leading the way.

SHIT GOES DOWN.

[See Barry and Caitlin below] before someone notices that Barry is not Barry. Wells stun guns shapeshifter!Barry. Caitlin and Iris (SNOWEST!) attempt to drive the unconcious Everyman to the police to free Eddie, but he morphs into a little girl and some construction workers meddle and unknowingly set Hannibal Bates free. Ugh. Oh, look at the women incapable of transporting a bad guy to the cops. Oh, look the construction workers who probably catcall to both Iris and Caitlin are righteous and rescuing the little girl without assessing the situation. When Caitlin revives Barry with a slap, Barry heads to the airport to stop Everyman from escaping. But Everyman knows Barry’s weaknesses now: Snowbarry, Westallen, and Beddie Thallen? Hahahaha, this is some Smallville shit right here with it’s fanservice romance teasers. Everyman for himself. Everyship for itself.

Barry looks scared shitless that “Caitlin Snow” is about to beat his ass down.

Everyman morphs into The Flash, but does not gain his speed. Phew. Barry stabs him with Caitlin’s morph-blocking serum and they lock him up in the pipeline. Everyman shifts from a screaming Iris to a flirty Caitlin. The two forms illicit different reactions from Barry. Hmmm… oh well. It’s up to Cisco to take care of Hannibal Bates now and it’s totally weird.

Iris and Eddie

Iris shows up at CCPD looking for her dad. Apparently, they didn’t tell Iris about the Wells research trip to Starling City. Hmph. IRIS KNOWS NOTHING. She pointedly ignores Eddie, and asks Barry where Papa Joe is. Eddie butts in and falsely tells her that “he’s taking a couple of personal days. Like father like daughter, I guess.”

WELLL, DAMN, EDDIE.

I mean, he’s not malicious about it… in fact, after a second or two of Iris sadly staring at him, he apologizes. Once again, Eddie is too good and too pure for this world.This poor dude, torn between his loyalty to a hero and the woman that he loves.

In the end, after Eddie’s release from jail, the couple reconciles and Eddie reveals that he’s been working with the Flash. He doesn’t reveal Barry as the alter-ego, but you can still see that Iris is visibly shaken by Eddie’s admission.

I truly wonder what is going to happen to these two.

Barry and Caitlin

At S.T.A.R. Labs, Snowbarry argue in matching baby blue outfits. Barry needs Caitlin to see the truth, the way I need someone to sedate me because the Snowbarry kiss anticipation is destroying me. It’s coming it’s coming(!!!), and I know it won’t be real, but all of the build up is the closest thing we’ll get to actual Snowbarry romance… for now. Caitlin is really struggling with Wells’ possible Villain alignment, and it’s causing a riff between her and Team Flash.

Me too, girl.

She doesn’t like lying to Wells or sneaking around behind her mentor’s back, so she pulls out the dumb white girl move of confronting the potential bad guy to “talk things out.” No no no no no, Caitlin. That is how people die! Wells is even out of his chair and walking around with his metaphorical glasses off when she rings his doorbell, only to be wooshed away by a rightfully incredulous Barry Allen.

Barry is too nice to ask her what we’re all thinking: “ARE YOU DUMB?”

Snowbarry stands on a moonlit abandoned road almost as romantic as the woods where The Flash and Captain Cold spoke, and Caitlin shares that Wells being a liar makes all of her work a lie as well. Oh, Caitlin. Can’t you see that once Barry woke up from that coma, your life took on a bigger meaning? You’re helping people, and it’s not because of Wells!

Barry begs Caitlin Snow to just chill out so that he can clear his dad’s name and get him out of Iron Heights. Remember Barry’s dad, Caitlin? You hugged him. You hugged him real good in a very daughter-in-law way. This breaks Caitlin and she agrees to shut her mouth for the time being, which is good considering Barry Allen’s mouth will be all over it within 24 hours whaaaaaaaa? Sorry, I need to focus again.

GIF of the recap.

When Everyman morphs into Barry, the shapeshifter assumes that Snowbarry is a thing, like a lot of the villains on the show. I get it. They touch a lot. They check in with each other a lot. And so far, she’s the only girl who knows his secret that’s in the same city as him. Their relationship, from an outside perspective, is intimate. Now Everyman assumes that this intimacy is also romantic, and I AM ALL ABOUT IT. Bring on the metahuman-induced romantic tropes!

It was bizarre seeing “Barry” at the lab, checking out Caitlin as she did her work. At first, I thought “Barry” was asking questions about how long the serum would take to make because he was trying to factor whether or not they’d be able to sneak in a quickie. Yes, I’m crazy. That is where my mind is. In reality, “Barry” was trying to distract Caitlin to find a way to steal the serum, with the bonus perk of getting some.

Everyman figures out that Snowbarry isn’t an official couple, but he makes a move anyway. At first, Caitlin is confused. Her eyes grow as wide as the Bug-eyed Bandit’s as “Barry” kisses her.

Bug-Eyed Bandit pt. II?

I laughed really hard. My laughter then turned into sobs when “Barry” went back in and Caitlin started kissing back. Poor girl. Poor poor poor girl. I don’t think she could go back from this. I know I can’t.

She kisses him back SHE KISSES HIM BACK.

Iris West rings the lab doorbell, and Caitlin freaks out. Caitlin expects a reaction from “Barry;” she is that friend that Barry confides in about Iris after all. The “oh my god” that escapes her lips as she rips her face away from Barry’s has multiple meanings. Caitlin looks guilty and tries to refocus on finding Everyman (who she does not realise she just sucked face with) and exclaims, “I KNEW IT!” when Everyman is outed as Not-Really-Barry.

That’s right, girl. Channel your confusion and frustration. Wake his ass up.

Caitlin is jumpy around the real Barry now. She doesn’t tell him about the kiss. She doesn’t tell ANYONE. I wonder how Wells would react? I don’t think a Snowbarry friendship, let alone romantic tryst, was part of his plans.

Joe and Cisco

I now dub these two CisJoe! These to road trip to the scene of Wells + his wife’s car accident from 15 years ago… by the way, I had no idea that Wells used to live in Starling City. Captain Quentin Lance is their liaison, and he’s rightfully curious about why Joe and Cisco traveled all the way from Central City (which, apparently, is pretty far) to look at a fifteen year old crime scene. CisJoe also happens to meet Laurel Lance. Do not miss the Brotha Nod CisJoe shares when Laurel asks to speak to Cisco privately.

At the crime scene, Cisco detects traces of tachyons aka time travel-y science residue. They dig up a body that is totally the real Dr. Wells. Lance wants to call it in, and I’m still confused how Joe convinces him not to do so. I guess everyone becomes more chill in the presence of Central Citizens.

Someone not immune to the Team Flash magic is Laurel Lance. Her private conversation with Cisco? Incredible. It went a little something like: “How’s Barry? You know, Flash Barry? He’s friends with my friends. Felicity, Digg, and Ollie the Arrow. Guess what? I’m the Black Motherfugging Canary.” She looks so pleased with herself and with Cisco’s obvious admiration; Laurel is adorable and awesome here. I wish I could describe Cisco Ramon’s joy/slight arousal at this moment, but I can’t. Just rewatch the scene. Also, I maybe probably ship Cisco/Laurel now, if not just to fulfill the fanboy/fangirl fantasy of a fellow nerd getting with a superhero.

So they make a trade: Cisco soups up Sara’s old Sonic Scream device (onto a choker necklace, yay!), and Laurel takes a photo with him in full Black Canary costume. It’s almost the best thing to happen in this episode. It’s certainly the best moment to feature Laurel Lance.

HIS FACE. CISCO IS ME.

“You show this to anyone, I’ll kill you.”

“That’s just an expression, right?”

“Nope.”

And with that, CisJoe ends their road trip and head back to Central City with Wells’ real rotting corpse in the backseat. Maybe the 100% DNA match will convince Caitlin of the truth.

Super-Quick Things:
    • Detective Pretty Boy. If Eddie interrogated me, I’d be so nervous because he is so freaking fine. I would also like to note that Eddie took an entire pizza to himself at the “meeting.” I love him.
    • Barry nerding out about a shapeshifter. Tongue-tied Barry is a very adorkable Barry.
    • “You’re supposed to be the scientist, Mr. Allen.”

    • Beddie. Lots of Barry/Eddie bonding… and not over their shared love interest. I love seeing these two squirm uncomfortably on a couch for Grandmother Everyman because they are too polite to refuse an old lady a cup of tea.

    • Laurel Lance. Is it just me, or did anyone fall in love with Laurel during her Flash cameo? She is so much more fun paired with Central Citizen happiness! First, Ray Palmer and now Laurel Lance? The Flash is character viagra. Is an Arrow character getting shitty and dislikeable? Having them hang out at S.T.A.R. Labs and crack a few jokes.

    • Westallen. The only time I’ve really seen Barry hold and comfort Iris is when someone she loves is kidnapped/charged with murder, and he is trying to calm her down. Iris’ CCPD freakout over Eddie parallels her freakout over Papa Joe in the alternate timeline. You know, the one with all the faceholding while Eddie watched? I’m sure the writers felt the need to lay it on thick with the Westallen interactions this episode to balance out the Snowbarry insanity [see above]; however, each Westallen-esque moment (like whenever Everyman turned into Iris to throw Barry off) only felt like a weak reminder of Hey! This is supposed to be what you’re rooting for! Right guys? …Right?
    • Joe and Lance paternal buddy-buddy bonding. They exchange their CW dramas about their brilliant, beautiful, strong, independent daughters.
    • Cisco in Starling City. In my head, he’s visiting his BFF Ray (Raysco!) and consoling him about his Felicity breakup. Now that he’s friends with Laurel, they’ll all help each other out in the future with super stuff.
    • Kissing Barry Allen has destroyed Caitlin Snow. I wonder how long she will keep this secret.

Easter Eggs:
  1. Coast City + Ferris Air
  2. Starling City + Laurel Lance
  3. Everyman tried to kill Black Canary on her wedding night. Funny that Laurel Lance cameos in this episode.

End tag: Snowbarisco

Remember the actual title of the episode, Who is Harrison Wells? Yeah, I almost forgot too. Especially after this:

But in true Scooby Doo style, Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco find Wells’ secret room with his secret Reverse Flash costume and his secret newspaper from the future. They are my Golden Trio. Next episode is gonna be GOOD.

Watch #DatFlash on Tuesdays live with The Nerds of Color on twitter for livetweeting!

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5 thoughts on “NOC Recaps The Flash: Everyman? More Like Everyship

  1. I can’t believe Caitlin getting sexually assaulted(which is what happened to her because she was deceived about who she was kissing) by not only a stranger, but a murderer is what someone considers goodies and squee worthy ship moments. My utter disappointment in reading this after reading a great review of another episode.
    Caitlin’s discomfort at being tricked and sexually assaulted is played for laughs and she doesn’t even get to share it with anyone. Instead, the writers have looking and feeling guilty. She recoils when the real Barry tries to touch her like victims of similar crimes are known to do. Instead of the show and the fans exploring what the effects had had on Caitlin, what we got instead was the show sweeping it all under the rug with Caitlin calling herself dumb for falling for a manipulation and the fans celebrating her sexual assault and hailing it ship moment of the year.

    Basically, the writers trolled Caitlin the character making her experience a total joke and then have her blame herself. And then they trolled the snowbarry ship with the fans too clueless or too misogynistic to give a shit that their ship moment of the year did not actually involve the two characters of the ship, that Caitlin is the only one that knows as they conveniently kept the real Barry and Iris out of it, that the entire incident will be swept under the rug, and that the writers gave them a terrible fan-service that in no way disrupted or affected at all the actual ship of the show. With a bar set so low, no wonder the writers did it. They knew they’d get away with such foolishness and no one would call them out on it.

    And no, the Westallen moments wasn’t the writers way of weakly reminding the audience of what ship the show is centered on. They take westallen seriously. In fact, its the only ship they take seriously enough to invest any real development and substance to it. Many times to the disappointment of many fans like myself who wouldn’t have minded if they had invested half of that energy to develop Eddie/Iris and Barry/Linda instead of the lackluster and disappointing mess we have gotten so far.
    The fact that all the snowbarry moments were one big joke while the westallen moments were full of emotional character moments that fleshes out the relationship between the characters tells you which one is more serious. They don’t need to remind you of westallen being center piece. Neither Barry and Iris touched upon their attraction to each other as they were both focused on Eddie for different reasons. It was about their friendship which is just as important to the story as whatever romantic feelings they share or what romantic relationship they might develop in the future. Their friendship is not a weak reminder. If every time they interact is downplayed as a “weak reminder” for their potential romance, then the same would have to be said about every interaction Barry has with every other single character. So lets not be ridiculously biased like people don’t have eyes and can’t read.

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